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Old 03-20-2019, 05:20 PM   #43
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,150
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Findegil
I can see your reasoning for the different choice of the basic text. I did rather choose by fiting structure than by anthing else. So I am over all not in opposition against AAm as basic text. But as a matter of fact I think that some of passages that I kept from LQ add worth while information. So let have the discussion pice by pice.
Agreed.

Quote:
As well I find it sad to loos Yavanna’s feeling of ‘ill content that it[Middle-earth] was forsaken’. With this and the removal of CE-EX-03 we would nearly annihilate an explicit thread of the storyline in LQ with Yavanna as the one actively pushing the other Valar to act in Middle-earth. The only part left is her speech at the council. But if you feel it necessary that is bearable.
You have a good point here, and it's probably worth some heavier editing to keep that thread. However, in your first draft I find a redundancy between LQ and AAm, as we twice tell that Orome and Yavanna went to Middle-earth, and twice tell of Yavanna's grief. In LQ we are told that she "grieved at the darkness of Middle-earth and ill content that it was forsaken" and in AAm she is "grieving because all the growth and promise of the Spring of Arda was checked". I think we either must lose one of those two statements, or somehow combine them.

How about:

Quote:
CE-01<AAm{§30} For one thousand years of the Trees the Valar dwelt in bliss in Valinor beyond the Mountains of Aman, and all Middle-earth lay in a twilight under the stars.> <LQ While the Lamps had shone, growth began there which now was checked, because all was again dark. But already the oldest living things had arisen: in the sea the great weeds, and on the earth the shadow of great trees; and in the valleys of the night-clad hills there were dark creatures old and strong.> <AAm Thither the Valar seldom came, save only Yavanna and Orome; and Yavanna often would walk there in the shadows, grieving because all the growth and promise of the Spring of Arda was checked <LQand ill content that it was forsaken>. And she set a sleep . . .
If we're including these bits from LQ, I suppose it might be better to take the first sentence from LQ as well, rather than AAm, so we could also do:

Quote:
CE-01<LQ{§18 }In all this time, since Melkor overthrew the Lamps, the Middle-earth east of the Mountains was without light. While the Lamps had shone, growth began there which now was checked, because all was again dark. But already the oldest living things had arisen: in the sea the great weeds, and on the earth the shadow of great trees; and in the valleys of the night-clad hills there were dark creatures old and strong.> <AAm Thither the Valar seldom came, save only Yavanna and Orome; and Yavanna often would walk there in the shadows, grieving because all the growth and promise of the Spring of Arda was checked <LQand ill content that it was forsaken>. And she set a sleep . . .
Either of those is fine with me.

CE-SL-01: No, I'm not opposed to interrupting the text for the sake of adding details (which we frequently do), but I thought that the motivation for this was to avoid saying, as in LQ, that Melkor created the Balrogs - since Tolkien had already emended AAm* for this same purpose, and since my general preference is for AAm as the later text, I thought we might use that. You're right that the LQ note offers some additional descriptive details, and I think your last suggestion here is good.

The word "multiplied", used in AAm*, is interesting, and I'm not sure what to make of it - it seems to me that the purpose of this emendation was to remove the statement that Melkor created the Balrogs, and yet it is still said that he "multiplied" them. In any case, given the (presumably later) "no more than 3 or at most 7" note, I agree that "multiplied" must go, and I think your suggestion to replace it with LQ's "gathered" is good.

CE-EX-04: OK, I think we're in agreement here.

Quote:
’Legendary’ character of the Cuivienyarna: Wow, I would not have expected such a ‘inovative’ use of a author’s note to be considered acceptable. But I am okay with this.
Yeah, it was not without some hesitation that I suggested that. But since the purpose of the author's note in this case is to tell us what, exactly, the Cuivienyarna is, and since that's also the purpose of a sub-title, I find it acceptable.

CE-SL-06, -07: I suppose this works. If you do find the "sun of summer" questionable, I'm OK with deleting it, but it seems quite plausible to me that the Elves would delight in the sun; certainly I don't think it's suggested anywhere that they had any antipathy toward it, even if it was associated with the rise of Men.

CE-EX-05.3: Good catch.

CE-EX-06 - -23: OK, good, agreed that this is better suited to volume III.
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