View Single Post
Old 04-16-2009, 02:19 PM   #91
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,224
Aiwendil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Aiwendil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Findegil wrote:
Quote:
I just wonder, can't we us 'trunk' in line 696 and leave 'tree' in line 699?
I thought of this, but I don't think that 'by a trunk standing' is clear (trunk of what?) . But after the 'tree' is mentioned, it's clear that 'trunk' refers to the trunk of the tree.

But Aran, I believe you still have reservations about "the traitor Mim" in line 696? Do you have an alternative suggestion? We could use any of several variations with the 'tr' alliteration, e.g.:

Quote:
saw {Blodrin Bor's son}[Mîm the betrayer] __ by a {beech}[tree] standing
or
Quote:
saw {Blodrin Bor's son}[Mîm the traitor] __ by a {beech}[tree] standing
or
Quote:
saw {Blodrin Bor's son}[traitorous Mîm] __ by a {beech} [tree] standing
My only reservation about options like the first two is that the alliteration in the first half-line falls on the second stress, which is allowed but generally avoided and rather rarely done by Tolkien.
Aiwendil is offline   Reply With Quote