[Oddwen]

Hmm...that makes us where now? So much that we have missed...

*At Orthanc*

Saruman (to a very muscly body-builder orc): Do you know how orcs were created?

LurtZ: Uhhh, no.

Saruman: They were elves once. Captured by the dark powers of red tape...forced to fill out miles of paperwork in dark rooms...tortured and mutilated. And now...perfected...adding machines of great power!

Lurtz: But that is highly illogical!

Saruman: Who do you serve?

Lurtz: No sir, it's whom do you serve.

Saruman: A-HEM!

Lurtz: Oh, uh...SARUMAN!

(Oh, I call dibs on the very last scene if we get to RotK, the Grey Havens and all that, if you would please.)

*The fellowship are continue boating the next day. Sam keeps hearing things over the singing of the pony and the arguing of Frodo and Boromir. He turns and sees a log bump into the last boat, which incidentally has Gimli and Leggy in it. It tips over.*

Gimli: Och! Stupid elf! Ye tipped the boat!

Leggy: I did no such thing! It was obviously your great girth that sunk us!

*Merry and Pippin are collapsed in the bottom of their boat laughing.*

Sam (muttering): Now that's funny...

Fro: It certainly is! Ha ha ha!

Sam: No, I think I see a log with eyes!

Fro (in a lowered voice): Hush! Speak not of it. Remember that line has been taken from you and given to one deemed more worthy of it!

Sam: Oh, right.

*That night, Boromir is collecting rocks for his "That's The Biggest Rock I've Ever Seen!" collection that he started in emmory of Gandalf who would often do that just to see Pippin carry more baggage.*

Aragorn (coming up from behind): It's Gollum.

Boromir: What? This rock?

Aragorn: No! Over there, on the water.

Boromir: Where, there?

Aragorn: No, there! The log with eyes!

Gollum: Row, row, row your logsss, gently down the streamssss, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is great if I only had the Precioussss.....

Boromir: Sorry, I forgot my glasses.

Aragorn: I've been trying to catch him for hours already. But he's slimy, yech!

Sam (in a different part of camp): Mr. Frodo, you ought to eat something.

Fro: No, Sam. I'm not hungry.

Sam: But you haven't eaten in...*gasp! That Galadriel got to you, didn't she! Merry and Pippin and myself all got told that we were fat! She's turned you into an anorexic! I will save you!

Fro: No, really, I had a snack in the boat...

Sam: Hold on, sir, I'll save you!

Fro: No, mmrrfff!! *Sam starts stuffing food down his gullet*

*back at the rock*

Boromir: I think we should strike out to Minas Tirith from here.

Aragorn: Are you nuts? Wait, nevermind...

Boromir: Why don't you trust Men? You are quick enough to trust the, burarum! Hastyhandedpointyearedsuperclean elf beings. But there is courage, there is honor to be found in men! I personally have never heard of it, but I'm sure it exists.

Aragorn: Forget it. I know you. You just want to get back in time for the Disco Danceoff. If we did that, we would be delayed until too late! I'm not takin' you near that city, bub!

*The next day, back in the boats*

Pippin: Hey, Boromir, would you pass me the...

Borrums: *snap!* Grrrrowwwlll! *grump*

Pip: Yipe! Nevermind...

(Sorry for the length. Next scene, the Argonath.) Hey, what do you think about Boromir not dying, at least not at Amon Hen?