[gandalf85]

I think this chapter turned out really nice! Some comments/questions:

1) Is the title of the chapter "The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel" or "Part of the Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel"? In Unfinished Tales, Christopher Tolkien chose to use the subheading "Amroth and Nimrodel" but apparently his father labeled his text "Part of the Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel recounted in brief". I personally like "The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel" as the title, but that is just personal preference.

2) Some typos:

for Lórien after the end of the first millennium of Third Age became a land

There is a missing "the" before "Third".

Less than a ship-load; and they had only seaworthy ship.

There is a missing "one" before "only".

its people fleeing and likely to leave it deserted to likely occupied by Orcs

The second "likely" should be "be".

3) I had a thought while reading through this chapter and parts of Unfinished Tales. Do you think we should explicitly call out the haven Amroth travels to by the name Edhellond? I believe Pauline Baynes' map is the first place this haven is explicitly named. For example, we could add something like:

Then he told her of the haven in the south, AN-SL-08.5.1 Pauline Baynes’ map <Edhellond>, where many of his own people had come long ago.

I'm not sure if editorial additions like this are in the scope of the project, but I had
to look up which haven this was on the internet. We mention the haven of Edhellond in a footnote in "Of the Rings of Power". Explicitly naming the haven Edhellond in this chapter would create more of a sense of continuity.

4) I think this section is awkward:

… Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is said here, though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-08.6<GC Am. When Nimrodel fled from Lórien it is said that seeking for the sea ...

It says "nothing is said here" about the fate of Nimrodel then immediately says stuff about the fate of Nimrodel. I propose this change:

... Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is AN-SL-08.5.2 {said here} known, though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-08.6 <GC Am When Nimrodel fled from Lórien it is said that seeking for the sea ...

5) I added in a small part that was removed which I think makes the text flow better and adds in an additional detail.

Galadriel and Celeborn took up their permanent abode in Lórien, and its government. AN-SL-11.5 Moved from AN-SL-10 <They were welcomed by the people.> But they took no title of King or Queen, and were the guardians that in the event brought it unviolated through the War of the Ring.

The fact that the people welcomes them is a nice detail and flows nicely into "But they took no title of King or Queen".

6) Just a comment:

But the Red Ring remained hidden until the end, and none save Elrond and Galadriel and Círdan knew to whom it had been committed.

I like that we decided to keep this detail hidden in the text as well.