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Old 08-29-2017, 01:22 PM   #24
ArcusCalion
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CE-EX-30: I am pretty strongly inclined against including it, despite the awesome battle descriptions, for the reasons I've already stated. As for Omar and Salmar, my complaint I guess fits more about Omar, as he is most likely not included in the Valaquenta or the Of the Beginning of Time chapters, and thus has no introduction. If he is to be kept here and in Chapter 2, a description of his entry to Arda is probably needed.

CE-EX-39: 1. I think the "and" is better than "plus".

2. "on a power level with" is very colloquial writing, but as you say we shouldnt change style, so fine. In my defense tho, it says in the MT essays that Manwe was less powerful than Melkor originally, but that he became coeval later.

3. it was just for style.

4. I see now that we should not remove it.

5. fair enough, I agree with you.

6. Fair enough

7. I do not understand your objection to my revision. I merely changed the tenses and rearranged the words to flow more naturally. Nothing of the original sense was changed.

8. It is not pure style, as the "So that they will gather again without further specific orders." is not a sentence, and cannot remain as it is. By joining it to the previous one, I lost nothing of the meaning, while fixing the grammatical impossibility.

9. Yay

10. If i removed "trembling" it was a typo on my part.

11. agreed, it should stay as is.

12. the "now" seemed redundant, but it is Tolkien's writing, so we should probably leave it.

13. Sounds good.

14. It is indeed style, so it may remain unchanged.

15. Tolkien marked it with square brackets, but gave no indication why. That is why I moved it to a footnote.

16. it was grammar, as it was not a sentence as it stood. By changing "which" to "this" it became a sentence instead of a clause, and I changed to past tense to match the rest of the narrative. removing "kind of" was purely style however.

17. Yay

18. I do not know why I removed this footnote.

19. I removed it because, while I agree it is important, it makes use of a colloquialism that would not exist in Middle-earth. Status-quo is a literal latin phrase that we use in English as an idiom, and so feels jarring in a Middle-earth writing, much like tolkien describing Quenya as the "Elf-latin."

CE-EX-45: May we at least change "small" to "lesser?" if not I suppose I will agree, but it feels very Lost Tales and not very Quenta Silm.

CE-SL-15: agreed.

CE-EX-50,-51: agreed

CE-EX-56: I removed the "new" because they were not new-come from beyond Ea, as they were not the first Elves in the later conception. "removed" rather than "wiped" was indeed pure style.

CE-EX-59-60: This is the dsicussion of the phonology of the word for Quendi and Calaquendi and Moriquendi. I was merely suggesting that we move them along with the following linguistic discussion to a seperate section at the end of the chapter.

CE-EX-65-End: I will do a draft of that as soon as possible.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 08-29-2017 at 11:08 PM.
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