Sorry, but not right. As you said yourself, the final verse wouldn't make sense at all, and there is many more that wouldn't fit, for example:
Quote:
Even though High Man was in my sight
ִ̣̣̣̣̣̣̣ ִ ִ early he died, no one could help.
Far from home he died, I am a witness
ִ̣̣̣̣̣̣̣ ִ ִ fear will fall on all because of this.
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There's no way you're getting this to fit with Gollum's story. But you at least tried.