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Old 11-05-2017, 07:32 PM   #56
ArcusCalion
Shade of Carn Dm
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 389
ArcusCalion has just left Hobbiton.
I have a minor point: Should the term Outer Lands be used? or should it not be changed to Middle-earth, to avoid the confusion of what is meant?

also I think Fin's "were" addition in the 15b sentence should be "where" and should come before the comma. Aside from that, I think it looks great!
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