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Old 07-09-2020, 05:42 AM   #36
Huinesoron
Overshadowed Eagle
 
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea
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Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
That one can fly. It's a very small stretch and the melodyy can gloss over.
Given the general trickiness of that song, I'm happy with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
The rhyming scheme is actually slightly different in this stanza. It goes this way:

Rod (read "rot", because end consonants often blend with their pair)
Chuzhoy
Vorot
Boy x3
Umryot

It's different from the variation after the Oath, which is AAB(near rhyme A)x3B.

The confusion is that the letters е and ё are often not differentiated. At some point people decided that when printing, it would save costs to drop ё from the available alphabet, so most adult books will only have e. And when people write, they may not do the dots on top.
Hrm. :-/ So 'blood' needs to rhyme with 'fight', is that right? I think I can do that:

An ancient oath has bound us by blood in the night &c.

~

Okay, I wasn't sure about doing this one, because Blonde Melian's "Мой король" is just perfect. But I kept coming back to it as one I could do, and... well:

Melian's Aria

MELIAN:
Elu, my dear husband, your course runs ill
You’ve become a fool, though you seem a hero
Sold your only daughter for a Silmaril
Now all I can hope for is the grace of Eru.

A single wave of royal hand
Has summoned Doom upon your woodland
We are the hostages of fate
The hapless hostages of fate
And none on Arda can avert it.

Now neither swords nor woven spells
Can turn our lives from shadowed journey
We are the hostages of fate
The hapless hostages of fate
And fate does not know grace or mercy!

O my king, how prideful you’ve become!
O my king, how prideful you’ve become!
O my king, how prideful you’ve become!

It was a dark hour you recalled
The curséd gems of Fëanáro
His fate now falls upon us all
His fate now falls upon us all
Bringing with it endless sorrow

Time’s weave unravels into night
I see the world fall down in shadow
I see black banners on the heights
I see black banners on the heights
Your foolish words have lost the battle!

THINGOL:
My care for my beloved child
Is stronger than battle or slaughter
A father's love is strong and proud
A father's love is strong and proud
But fathers do not choose their daughters

MELIAN:
Hear now a truth you have forgot
Above all vows and laws and kingdoms:
To love but once, this is our lot
To love but once, this is our lot
We Firstborn Children of Creation

And she will follow only him
Who pierced her heart with loving arrow
And towers will crumble on the hills
And they will bathe the Silmaril
In their hearts' blood and endless sorrow!

Oh my king, how blind have you become!
Oh my king, how blind have you become!
Oh my king, how blind have you become!

Oh my king, what madness have you done?
Oh my king, what madness have you done?
Oh my king, what madness have you done?


The order in Version 2 is changed slightly from all versions of the text; I've followed the sung version. I've also spliced her lines from the end of the previous song onto the beginning of this one; if I ever do Comedy Thingol Steals Caranthir's Mic (or whatever that song's called) I'll shuffle it back.

The one line I have utterly changed is right at the end: "And towers will crumble on the hills" for "Like a rudderless ship follows the tide". I couldn't make it fit, so I flipped to a bit more prophecy from Melian (and a specific reference to the Fall of Tol-in-Gaurhoth).

My absolute favourite line is "I see black banners on the heights"; with that phrasing, it has resonances with both Gondolin and Gondor, and I just really like it. ^_^

Link to all my lyrics, just to keep track.

hS

Last edited by Huinesoron; 07-09-2020 at 12:38 PM. Reason: Sweeping changes to the Aria.
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