The Downer has exhaustively examined these allegations of feline fellonies and the disappearance of Serious Cat. Crack investigative reporter, Fedora Cat, seen below, has produced the following report.
Fedora Cat:
Notwithstanding that it is extremely difficult to infiltrate the secret society of Cafia, it is still possible to ascertain some information of the actions and behaviours of the members of this secret society that threatens to overrun the Downs. First of all, we find a definite predilection for playing not pianos, but violins.
However, these musical instruments are a ruse to hide the most violent forms of assault known in this country. Here is the formerly peaceful violin-playing cat showing his true colours:
Yet even more nefarious are those feline fellons behind the scene who engage in the worst sort of conspiracy against the happily Dead. I refer to those planners, the catsigliori, who mastermind the overtaking of the barrow:
Thankfully, however, all was not lost in this case. The Downs can commend DCI
Eomer of Scotland Yardarm for his swift action in uncovering this cell by the efficient caterwauling of his national musical instrument.
The Downs remains a safe barrow in which to celebrate another day.