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As regards GOT, HBO seem to be heavily consulting Martin at every step, and if the author himself agrees with the changes I dont see how anyone can moan about it. I think there is mutual respect between the two, and that is key. Respect. I think Martin is also open to fans voicing their concerns over character deaths too, ie nobody wants Tyrion to die in future episodes, and Martin may take that on board as he is writing, or the producers may give him a nudge if things are looking squishybloody. It seems a good way to do a show.
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