[Mithadan]

Piosenniel's words held both pain and fear and Mithadan felt chill when he heard them. He longed to reach out to her, to drown her fear in a pool of his emotions. But he recalled suddenly the events on the deck earlier that day and the reason for his concern. "Kali?" he asked. "Where is Kali?"

Her proud chin drooped a bit more. "He is fine. He was with me," she answered, her voice trailing off into a whisper.

His eyes closed and he shook his head at the memory of his argument with Cami, Khelek and Veritas. He pulled his hands from hers and rubbed his temples. "Oh, Pio..." he began, then shook his head again unable to continue for a moment. A cold anger awoke within him which he restrained with a clenched jaw. He stood and turned away, stretching the aches from his back, then turned back to the Elf.

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

He sat on the chair opposite her and looked into her eyes. "I am also," he began. "Sorry to have shouted at Cami and threatened Khelek. Sorry that matters reached the point where they nearly had to restrain me from swimming up the river to look for him. And what reception would I have received at the caverns had I managed to reach them? I suspect that neither the Hobbits nor the guards would have liked me much."

He shook his head again and waited but no words came in response. "If I had met you at any other time, my love for you would have been unconditional, and perhaps it will be so when we are done. But now you place me at war with myself. On the one hand, there is my concern and devotion to you. But on the other is my concern for the rescue of the Hobbits and the safety of my crew...and I do consider them mine, for when trouble arises they look to me for reason and steadiness and leadership. I live now in fear that someday I will be forced to choose between my concerns and by so choosing I will win the one but lose the other."

He knelt before her, and now tears started at his eyes as well. Taking her face gently in his hands, he again looked into her eyes. "Pio, I cannot lose either. I will not!" he said fiercely. "The crew needs the both of us -- as do the Hobbits. Your courage and skills and mine! But I need you...desperately, like I have never needed anyone before. Can we not satisfy both needs? Can we not both lead and love together?"

He rose again to his feet and looked away from the Elf. More gently now, he said, "I do not require abject obedience. I do not wish to have a servant. I said once before that you are altogether admirable...you are! I love your bravery and independence as much as your beauty and your kindness."

Facing the Elf once more, he continued, "I said that 'I would have Piosenniel'. I want no other. Can Piosenniel and Mithadan face the world together? Is this possible?"