[Child of the 7th Age]

Sometimes, in a place of death and shadow, a light rises and endures. So it seemed that night, both in the tombs and on the ship. Many sensed the possibility of change. And two of these, Mithadan and Gamba, left behind their sorrow for a while.

The hobbrim and Elves stood on the deck of the Star, looking up to the sky. They could trace the goodness of a hundred glittering lights. Andril spoke in a sure, quiet voice, “It is a good night. Perhaps the last before we face the darkness that falls on Elenna. Let us enjoy its loveliness.” Rose and Kali both laughed with a certainty of hope that had not been there before.

Those from the ship and the caves stood together in an invisible ring of friendship. The Elves looked towards the West with longing, the hobbrim dreamed of a secret home, and hobbits wondered what it might be like to live without fear. Yet, for those who loved most deeply, they thought only of each other.

Still, for some, this night was hard. Bird and Phura waited for the sun to push fears aside. Cami stood by the railing, staring at the east. It was so far away. She slipped below, careful to avoid the cabin where the Man and Elf rested. As she pushed her door ajar, Ancalimon sat at the table, concern evident in his face.

“You can go.” Cami waved him off. “I want time alone. I need to think about my people.”

“Is that all?” he countered sharply.

“What else could there be? There is sorrow in the tombs beyond anything I’ve known. I would be foolish to think of anything else.”

“Camelia Goodchilde, I do not believe you. Lie to me if you must, but speak truth to yourself.” He sounded irritated and turned to leave.

She halted, then forced out two words. “Please, stay.” Her voice sounded hollow even to herself. “It has been three months, three months to the day since I left, but to everyone else, that was thousands of years ago. And I am supposed to look and act as if I’ve put everything behind me.”

“No one remembers him as a person, only as a figure of lore. But, to me, he’s real. It’s not enough that death steals away one you love. Even memories fade, day-by-day. Perhaps I should have been an Elf. At least I could keep things from changing.”

The answer came back without hesitation. “You are not an Elf. And, if you try to do that, you will slowly die. Use your head. Maura would never have loved an Elf, not as he felt for you.”

“Then when will this hurting stop?” she demanded.

“Stop? It won’t stop. But you will learn to live with it.”

Her tears began to fall. “How can that be? Everyone on the Star calls me sensible. One-by-one, they line up with problems. I reassure Kali about Daisy, I throw myself onto Mithadan to keep him from acting foolishly. I make sure Pio eats and sleeps for the twins. When Rose threatens to run off to the tombs, I remind her to think.”

“What they don’t see is that I am in pieces myself. I thought I could put them together by now, but it hasn’t happened.”

“No, and, to be truthful,” he responded gently, “I doubt it ever will. I know this is hard to understand, but you have a gift. Not all gifts bring joy. Some bring sadness or obligation. You have the gift of ‘brokenness.’ “

“That doesn’t sound like something people would line up for.” Cami retorted with some backbone.

Ancalimon laughed. “No, but it does mean you can look at others and see hurting, and help them see it too. Some people just give up. You won’t. And if you see someone like this, you will prod and cajole them from behind.”

“There’s meaning in that, Cami Goodchilde. You just have to be stubborn enough to plod forward and find it. I can’t make Maura come back, but you can find something that will keep you going until you find your way through.”

“But what of all these tears?” she insisted. “I feel like a fountain sometimes.”

“Then, be a fountain. For a fountain gives beauty. Believe me, Little Andreth, I am a messenger from the House of Nienna. I have seen more tears than you can imagine. Tears are no shame. Some lead to despair, but others free the fea to soar. Just be careful.”

She ran over and hugged him, and laid her head a moment on his shoulder. “Someday, I may find my way to Arda in the Third Age. If so, I will keep an eye on you and Rose.”

She thanked him and said goodnight.

[ October 15, 2002: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]