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Old 10-07-2017, 09:52 PM   #111
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,129
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
I had only a few notes on this chapter, and from the way they are written it seems clear that I had intended to go back and provide more detailed comments and writing them up better before posting them here, but here they are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aiwendil
§37a (§20) - reads terribly as it stands (also an extra ‘and’).

RD-EX-61.2: Better to keep original word order with ‘did she know’ rather than ‘she did know’.

§43a (§27): ‘Dwarfroad’ should be ‘Dwarf-road’.
‘Amrod’ should be ‘Amros’.

RD-EX-79: Present tense at end. Also, why [near by]?

RD-EX-81: Really think we should consider removing Melian’s warning.

Last sentence: ‘Wending to one strand’ in LT makes sense because Ruin of Doriath comes after Gondolin. I think we should remove the sentence or move it to the Fall of Gondolin.
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