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Old 11-10-2008, 02:21 PM   #108
Legate of Amon Lanc
A Voice That Gainsayeth
 
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
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Legate of Amon Lanc has passed beneath the Argonath.Legate of Amon Lanc has passed beneath the Argonath.Legate of Amon Lanc has passed beneath the Argonath.Legate of Amon Lanc has passed beneath the Argonath.Legate of Amon Lanc has passed beneath the Argonath.Legate of Amon Lanc has passed beneath the Argonath.
That evening, Michael disappeared quietly to his lonely room in the very back of the inn, but he did not go to sleep immediately. Actually, he wanted to, but the memories of the events of the past day - so rich on events that it was even unpleasant - kept buzzing in his head, and he had to sort them out. He was not a person who would put much emphasis on rational reflection of things, and certainly not that he would do it intentionally, like sitting down and telling himself: "And now, Mishka, you will think". No, but the chaos in which his brain was all the day was perhaps too much for him.

What he felt, as he was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, in the silent darkness, was a mixture of guilt, startle of what had happened, and fear of the unknown future. Just how did it come to this? Michael Smallburrow was not happy, he was unhappy and deeply worried. When he overheard the group talking back there on the road, he felt intrigued by the idea of an adventure, of seeing something - what more, in the North! The North! That's where Michael always wanted to go. When it had snowed in Hobbitton, young Mishka always ran out of the door, not caring about the exhortation of his mother to take a warm coat and at least some cap. He always spent hours in the snowdrifts, and returned home late evening and then remained in bed with cold for the rest of the week - which did not bother him, because all the snow outside melted overnight. But here, Michael expected that in the northern parts of the Shire, there would have to be whole fields of snow. At least what he heard, there was supposed to be plenty of snow in the north. That was his first reason to follow the hobbit company. Of course, he also overheard the few words about the Entwives - although he was not too sure what is the party intending to do with them. Michael, personally, knew about the Ents and Entwives just from a goodnight story his grandmother liked to tell to his younger sister, Gilly. Only during the later talk he overheard in the inn, he gathered that the company wants to search for the Entwives. That was also what brought Michael to his lie about seeing "something" in the North Moors.

Michael's heart hurt again. He felt guilty of lying, and what more, he felt trapped in the web of lies he already created. He lied about the North Moors - but how could he have known that the one hobbit, Brown, had already been there? But now he cannot confess that he lied - he must go on pretending that he had been there. In North Moors, there are surely many places that look alike to places where he had been already. He will make up something and pretend that he had been there.

But still, there was already no turning back for him - that was the worst. Most of all, Michael was afraid now. If he could take it all back, he would rather just go away, forget the company and the North Moors - but he could not, not anymore, when they were counting on him, and when he had already told so many lies. He just had to go on and hope the lies he made will not get him into a tight spot.

As he lay down, he could not fall asleep for a long while, still thinking about what tomorrow will bring, and feeling guilty, guilty about lying to the company, lying to Brown, and lying to Bunny. Only very late, when the darkness outside had already deepened and midnight had already passed, Michael Smallburrow fell into an unsettled sleep.
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