[Maeggaladiel]

Lady Maeggaladiel of the Four Eyes cursed softly to herself. She was positioned on the floor in a rather unladylike pose, groping under her bed with one hand for something that could not be found. Batting aside dust bunnies the size of small Wargs, she stretched her arm as far as it would reach. Cold floor and dirty socks greeted her searching fingertips.

Suddenly she felt something cold and hard. Grinning, she grasped it and pulled it out from under the bed. Her grin melted away. This was not what she was looking for.

“How did a chainsaw get under here?” she wondered to herself. Perhaps the dust bunnies were out to get her… She made a mental note to vacuum as soon as possible. She dove back under.

Suddenly her fingers brushed what felt like a wooden box. Maeggaladiel’s head lifted quickly—BANG—and hit the frame of her bed.

“D’oh!” she yelped. Rubbing the sore spot (it had better not leave a lump), Maeg drew the wooden box from its hiding place. It was coated in dust. Maeg blew a puff of air across its lid. A white cloud of dust rose from it and settled three feet away on her party dress, lying on a chair.

“I’ll deal with you later, Dust of Evil,” she told it. She hoped that the dust bunnies heard this and were shaking in their fuzzy slippers. Pull a chainsaw on her, would they?

The box was of a dark wood, with a brass lock. Maeg closed her eyes and placed her hand on the lid. Within this box lay her greatest treasure, hidden from all other eyes and protected by an ancient spell.

“Edro, edro.” She spoke the elvish word for “Open” in her most dramatic Arwen voice. The box remained locked.

“Edro!” she commanded, less Arwen and more angry this time. “Open, stupid box!” The box was motionless. Making sure no one was watching, Maeg got a hammer and pried open the lid.

Inside, nestled among red velvet and scraps of newspaper, lay the jewel of Maeg’s collection; a pair of rose-tinted glasses. Smiling, Maeg removed her old glasses and put on the extraordinary eyewear. Everything looked pinkish. She looked in the mirror.

“Maeggaladiel of the Four Eyes, Founder of the Nearsighted Elves Foundation, is ready to PAR-TEEEEE!!” She made a disco pose.
**
Maeg edged up to the Barrow Wight’s table of presents. It was uncomfortably close to a suspicious-looking mound of earth. She couldn’t help imagining a giant green hand reaching from the barrow as she slipped her gift (a “Saruman’s Magical Manicure Set for Men, Istari, and Other Things, Living or Dead”) on the table. Then she moved towards the banquet table as quickly as she could without tripping over the hem of her rose-colored party dress. There she placed a plate of her favorite pastries, Beorn Claws, and a pitcher of Miruvor-flavored Kool-Aid among the other foods.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” she sang. Fireworks exploded above her, and a variety of creatures, from an orc to a balrog to a man wearing saucepans singing songs, meandered about, talking. She looked around for someone she knew.