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Old 08-24-2017, 09:59 PM   #18
Findegil
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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Okay at least a first go at the comments of ArcusCalion:
CE-EX-01: If we have to fragment our sources farther to make them work together than I think this might be the better arangement:
Quote:
<$18 In all this time ... In those lands and forests Oromë would often hunt; and there too at times Yavanna came, singing sorrowfully; for she was grieved at the darkness of Middle-earth and ill content that it was forsaken{.} CE-EX-01<AAm and because all the growth and promise of the spring of Arda was checked. And she set a sleep upon many fair things that had arisen in the Spring, both tree and herb and beast and bird, so that they should not age but should wait for a time of awakening that yet should be.> But the other Valar came seldom thither{;}. CE-EX-01.2 But Melkor dwelt in Utumno, and he slept not, but watched and laboured; and the evil things that he had perverted walked abroad, and the dark and slumbering woods were haunted by monsters and shapes of dread>; and in the North Melkor built his strength, and gathered his demons about him. ...
Ork or Orc: As far as I remember it should be Orc, since that is what JRR Tolkien used in his publication, even so he changed his mind and wrote in a remark that he in futre would use Ork, it was never changed in The Hobbit or LotR.

CE-SL-03: Agreed.

CE-SL-03.8: 'still night' to 'dark' in the sentence before CE-SL-04: Agreed.

CE-SL-04.2: Please explain what you nominated with this? I could not find any change in between CE-SL-04 and CE-SL-05.

CE-SL-05: Agreed.

CE-SL-06: Agreed.

CE-SL-07: But the comparision is with later times when there was a 'morrowdim' and 'even-dim' and with that for sure as well seasons.

CE-EX-05: Cuiviénen: Thank you for finding. I will corret it.
Endon/Endor: Frankly speaking I don't know. Please feel free to research this since I am away from my books.


CE-EX-07; CE-EX-08: I do not agree that CE-EX-07 'does not work at all in its subject matter.' The subject is exactly Melkor's corrupting power which anabled him to creat the Orks. I agree so that it might be better to adapt it 'tonally' at least slightly (see below). To better the transition we might reinstall CE-EX-06 after CE-EX-07 and if you still feel the need of a sub-heading that should be inserted before §45 and it should be simply 'Orcs' taken from Myths Transformed, Text VIII or do we have a sub-heading some where in our source texts 'Of Orcs'? All this would lead to:
Quote:
... and all the noblest of the Quendi were drawn towards it.
CE-EX-05.5 <Myths Transformed, Text VIII: Orcs Orcs
>$45 But those hapless ... were corrupted and enslaved. CE-EX-07 <Myths Transformed, Text VIII: Orcs {It does however seem best to view }Melkor's corrupting power {as }always {starting}started, at least, in the moral or theological level. ... and suffering a slow progressive weakening of their bodies.>CE-EX-06 Thus did Melkor breed the hideous race of the Orkor in envy and mockery of the Eldar, of whom they were afterwards the bitterest foes.
CE-EX-08 <Myths Transformed, Text IX The Elves from their earliest times invented and used a word ...
CE-EX-10: Mh, I couldn't find the later place either. So we probabaly should reinstall it here.

CE-EX-11: I agree on the last sentence, but I do not see why we would need the change in the first.

Chapter '3 Concerning Naugrim, Ents and Eagles' has the following sub-chapters:
'Of Aulë and the Dwarves' with the sub-heading 'Here are the words of Pengolod concerning the Naugrim' and
'Anaxartaron Onyalie' with the sub-heading 'Of Ents and Eagles'.

CE-EX-17: Why do oyu remove the '(', ')' around 'even demon form'?
I also do not see the need to delet '(killing)'.
The same is true for the removal of ''damned': i.e.'. We might aksed damned by whom? But or reads might ask that question as well. And their answer is as good as ours.
I am not willing to let the 'poltergeist' slip away that easy! May be we change her to make it less essay like formulation:
Quote:
... make it effective physikally ({or would }a very dwindled dea Orc-state might be a poltergeist{?}).>
CE-EX-18.2: I did not take that § because I thaught of using it together with the follwoing §§, probably as in insertion into the Story of the Alliance between Moria and the Northmann in the Second Age.

CE-EX-19, CE-EX-20: Angband is mention at the end of Chapter 1.

CE-EX-21: To remove 'sterile' is a no-go for me. The emphasis (!) is Tolkiens and the whole note shows that there was a way of 'sterile' cross breading, at least for the big bad bosses. This info is what I think we must transport, and with removing the 'sterile' we would loss that.

CE-EX-24: That is what 'editorial addition' means: An addition with out source in Tolkiens texts.

CE-EX-26, CE-EX-27: I agree on {Palisor}[Endon/r]. But the rest of your changes is only for reason of stlye. In this phase 1 of the project we have up to know kept away from such changes.

CE-EX-28: Okay, here I agree at least to a few changes: 'magic' might be out of place for the crafts of the Valar. So I agree to the change of magic to power in the making of tilkal. In the footnote I would change 'magic' names to 'poetic' names.
Can you give at least a hint what is linguistically wrong with 'Vorotemnar' and 'Ilterendi' -just for the record.

CE-SL-12: I removed 'and make an end' because only two sentences above we learn that the war was undertaken without hope of real victory. What else would 'an end' (of what so ever) be, than real victory?

Okay, here I have to stop to get at least a tinny bit of sleep. I will go on as soon as times allows.

Respectfully
Findegil
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