[Raynor]

Hmm. Is your comment based more on Primary World notions of authority in matrimony?

No, that is not what I had in mind. I think it was quite funny, in a way, to see Aule defending the elves, almost all by himself. All the others against him; so what if they were proven true in the end? Pfft. His loyalty (if I can so call it - arguing for them being free from evil) for the Children of Eru, although "unreasonable", is moving to me. I am fond of all those jokes where good friends side with you, even if you are wrong, even if they know you are wrong. I know, I know, that is not a good thing in itself, not even to wish for; nice nonetheless .

What are the conditions of marriage among the Valar?

According to the commentary on the first section of the Annals of Aman, the spouse means for valar "only an 'association'". They affinities are evident in their bodies (or perhaps more exactly, in their gender):

Originally Posted by Ainulindale, Silmarillion

But when they desire to clothe themselves the Valar take upon them forms some as of male and some as of female; for that difference of temper they had even from their beginning, and it is but bodied forth in the choice of each, not made by the choice, even as with us male and female may be shown by the raiment but is not made thereby.

I would say that their "born" affinities are also evident in the choice of their "spouses"; given their imense status, I would say that each were independent in decision making from the others, sort of speaking - although united in the purpose of serving Eru.

Surely if one of them is given an aspect of the world to care for, that care does not diminish upon private cohabitation.

I would note that there is strife however between their creations, as foretold by Eru:

Originally Posted by Of Aule and Yavanna, Simlarillion

But when the time comes I will awaken them, and they shall be to thee as children; and often strife shall arise between thine and mine, the children of my adoption and the children of my choice.

And Aule's and Yavanna's children:

- Now let thy children beware! For there shall walk a power in the forests whose wrath they will arouse at their peril.

- Nonetheless they will have need of wood, said Aule, and he went on with his smith-work.

Perhaps this strife would also reflect on the relations between the valar, esspecially with "spouses".