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Old 03-16-2004, 08:19 PM   #133
mark12_30
Stormdancer of Doom
 
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Elvish singing is not a thing to miss, in June under the stars
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Helen waves and smiles. "Glad I am that you found it fair, " she says, "although I am yet tempted to fuss at the third stanza a bit. I lost the rhyming scheme there..."

She wanders off humming Green(s)leaves, and re-thinking

Once Prince Greenleaf had been her delight
But he sailed long since from haven bright
But silvered light fell on Greenwood fair
While yet Ealasaide lingered and tarried there

Frowns. "No, that's AABB, not ABAB. Drat."

Tries again:

Once Prince Greenleaf had been her delight
Deep was their joy while he tarried there
But he sailed long since from haven bright
While yet Ealasaide lingered in Greenwood fair

She nodded, and sighed with satisfaction. "Shall I edit the original post? Yes, I think so..."
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...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.
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