What if another Oxford professor had written „The Lord of the Rings“? Here is Lewis Carroll’s version:
(Interestingly, this is a parody of a parody – Carroll’s poem made fun of an older, quite serious and highly edifying one! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] )
‘You are old, Uncle Bilbo,’ young Frodo said,
‘And your age should be showing by now;
Yet you look well-preserved besides being well-fed,
Just what is your secret, say how?’
‘In my youth,’ answered Bilbo, ‘I went down the road,
Hunting treasure with dwarves, that’s the thing!
And a trinket I won was worth more than the load,
Gollum’s precious came to me, the ring!’
‘You are old, Wizard Gandalf,’ said Frodo, ‘and wise,
And your beard is exceedingly long;
Yet you have quite a desperate look in your eyes –
Pray tell me, what is it that’s wrong?’
‘Is it safe?’ asked the wizard, ‘have you hidden it well?
Have you kept it secure from all harm?
For Gollum did Sauron of ‘Baggins, Shire’ tell,
The Council must hear the alarm.’
‘Lady Galadriel,’ said Frodo, ‘you are old, so they say
And are wearing a ring on your hand;
Your wisdom is great, and you’ve helped us today,
But your mirror I don’t understand.’
‘In my youth,’ sighed the Elf-Queen, ‘I misunderstood
And asked it: ‘Who’s fairest and best?’
But now that my granddaughter’s prettier than I,
I guess I will go to the West.’
‘You are ancient, o Ringwraith,’ young Frodo said,
‘And I fear you intend me no good,
Between shoulder and crown there existeth no head,
What is it that keeps up your hood?’
‘You impertinent hobbit, have you no respect?’
Said the Nazgūl, ‘now fear me and die!’
Yet Frodo and Samwise to Mt. Doom then trekked
And destroyed both the ring and the Eye!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth.. .'
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