And we'll have to have a scene where the whole band raids an orc-party and steals all of their drums, arranges them in a semi-circle. Then the band cranks it up and summons up a wraith. Or a dead balrog. Or Ancalagon the Black's ghost.
After a truly exceptional solo, Samantha, you can nickname him Mhosie.
In Shelob's webs, will band members meet their drugged demise? Or ignore the warning "drink of no stream that flows from the Imlad Morgul" and find their careless drinking on the deadly side?
Poor heartbroken Samantha! Her wails of despair will rival the guitar solos. Who needs an amp in Mordor with all that natural acoustics?
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...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.
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