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Hey, I think that might be it.
Aerin did burn herself alive and the house with her, because she wasn't going to be treqted kindly at all after Turin's visit and this was her final act of rebellion. And what you said about the House of Hador.
Aas for patience, I believe one of Turin's companions tells him during their escape from Dor Lomin not to mistake Aerin's patience for frailty, or some such.
Good catch!
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera
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