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Old 09-08-2003, 06:00 PM   #62
Mithadan
Spirit of Mist
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Tol Eressea
Posts: 3,310
Mithadan is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Mithadan is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Sting

As Grrralph rode back towards Improvas, something was troubling him. He had ridden nearly three miles before he realized what it was. Whereas yesterday the Itship had ridden over broad green plains and through forests and fields, the rising sun was revealing a slightly different landscape. It seemed that a billboard had been erected every 100 meters or so. He slowed his pace to take in the colorful signs and catchy slogans.

A sign for a chain of steakhouses read "Where's the Beef?" He chuckled at the outraged look of the customer as he ran his sword through the waiter.

A sign for Sethamir's Stables, Inc. (trademark pending) showed a patron throttling the equerry while screaming "I'm not gonna pay a lot for this horse!" Apparently, the Itship had made a good choice when stabling their steeds.

Yet another, advertising low rent housing, portrayed huts with two-horse stables. The slogan there read "Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!" Odd that all of these advertisements ended in explamation marks, he mused.

An image of a dragon wallowing in a swimming pool behind a group of slightly higher rent townhouses caught his attention next. A puff of smoke from the dragon's mouth formed words which read "They're Grrrreat!" Grrralph particularly liked this slogan and wondered at the cost of these fine residences and whether he could afford them.

As if to answer this question, the next billboard promoted Mogūl's Mortgages. An honorable and serious looking banker sat behind a desk in this advertisement. The caption read, "We make our money the old-fashioned way, we EARN it!"

The next billboard was in the process of being erected. A massive cart sat at the side of the road. It was filled with billboards and was drawn by four very unhappy looking horses, each of which had been painted bright red. The sign on the cart read "Bildūr's Boards, A Little Dab Will Do Ya!" Grrralph didn't think much of this slogan. First, the boards were not "little". Second, the hundreds of signs that he had seen hardly constituted a "dab".

This sign was being erected by several Orcs. The subject was Achilles' Armouries. A smiling hero had run his foe through with a spear. The dying warrior was saying, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Grrralph approached the Orcs to compliment the advertising agency. As he drew near, he could hear them singing.

"O Muddled Mirth,
O Muddled Mirth,
We spread our waste on thee!
And hide the pines
With billboard signs,
from sea to oily sea!"

One of the Orcs looked up in surprise as the sound of hooves was heard over their song. Their initial reaction was to draw their swords. Then they relaxed when the saw the black cloaked figure. "It's only a Wraith," the leader cried and his fellows resumed their labor.

The Orc Captain approached Grrralph with a toothy smile. "The boss wants us to put these up at night, but we wanted to do one more before heading home."

"Home?" asked Grrralph.

"Yeah," said the Orc. "Back to Moredough. Soon we'll have fortresses everywhere, but for now the Boss wants us to maintain a low profile."

"Where will your fortresses be?" asked the Wraith.

"We'll probably have one here at Improvas," answered the grungy and feral looking Uruk. "And soon we'll take over Grundor and Topfloorien and Trebor. Soon after that, this name will be everywhere!"

He pointed to a line of small print on the billboard which read, "Achilles' Armouries is a subsidiary of Mogūl Enterprises, LLC." Grrralph nodded, recalling Sssam's words about his employer. "Looks like Mogūl is taking over everywhere," Grrralph mused as he rode on towards Improvas. "...and Mogūl wants the wood..."

[ September 10, 2003: Message edited by: Mithadan ]
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