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I think another point to consider is that we seem to assume that Rohan runs on a Medieval European system of primogeniture, where the oldest son/male relative is the automatic heir. To me at least, Rohan is rather more similar to a Viking/Germanic type of civilization. And among them, that WASN'T necessarily how it was done. If I recall from my schooling (we actually covered this in high school while discussing Beowulf) amongst them it ran a lot looser. Basically ANY male relative had a decent claim to the throne. The King was free to pick whichever son (or other relative) he chose. He USUALLY picked his eldest son, but he was under no obligation to do so. And it was in the power of the kings nobles and council to overrule the king's decision. If they liked someone else better, he could wind up with the throne. I'm with Mithalwen on this one; had Eomer not survived, I think it entirely possible Eowyn could have wound up Lady of the Mark. (actually that could have made for a damn good story. Eowyn who is now married to the Steward of Gondor and who has renounced fighting now finds herself in a position where she is needed back home to rule (which probably means being separated from Faramir, since he is now in charge of Ithilien and presumably needs to be there, and with a title that more or less puts her as supreme military commander, amongst other things.)
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