[Elvellon]

Originally Posted by Aiwendil

BL-SL-03: While I don't necessarily think that every instance of "god" used of the Valar must be excised, I think its use here from the mouth of an Elf is sufficient reason to delete this couplet.

Being one of the "songs of Númenor," I haven't been inclined to think of anything written here as strictly "from the mouth of an Elf." We're reading a Mannish text, and we know Men thought of the Valar as gods, right? (Apologies if I'm retreading settled ground. I'm doing my best to digest 20+ years of debate on these ideas split over dozens of threads.)

BL-EX-06: "lay white beneath on the dark stones" looks like a transcription error. My copy has "lay white beneath on the dank stones"

BL-EX-10: A fantastic bit of work here, but a few things don't sit quite right for me. Don't get me wrong, the effort that was put into the Lay by everyone involved is nothing short of brilliant. I'm not here to step on any toes, just to share some grist for the mill. In that spirit, here is my suggestion:

But lastly, ere he bade farewell,
spoke Finrod: 'Celegorm the fell,
I say, by sight this hour received,
no Silmaril shall be retrieved
by thou nor any kin or friend,
for ever unto world’s end.
And this indeed that we now seek
will be delivered from the reek,
but never to your hands will fall.
Nay, shall your oath devour all
of Fëanor’s sons, and deliver then
to another the bride-price of Lúthien.

My main goals were as follows: to put "Celegorm the fell' and the "sight that is given" back into Finrod's mouth; to replace "Jewel" with "Silmaril"; to remove "in vain you swore", since the oath is not mentioned twice in GA; to find a more natural line than "shall come from 'neath the triple peak"; to get rid of the two nearby shall's; to end on "Lúthien."

The usage of "reek" here is the Old-English noun form, as in "delivered from the noxious fumes."

BL-RG-22: How about:

Yet not all unavailing were {2215}
{the}[Finrod's] spells{ of Felagund}; for {Thû}[Sauron knew] [2455]
{neither}[not] their names nor purpose {knew}[true].

BL-EX-10.5: I took a stab at including Celebrimbor's renunciation:

‘We will remember it,’ they said,
and turned upon their heels, and sped,
saddled their horses, trussed their gear,
and went with hound and bow and spear,
BL-EX-10.5 but alone; for none would go,
perceiving evil would follow
the curse that heavy lay therein.
At that time, the son of Curufin,
Celebrimbor, rose and disclaimed
his father’s deeds; and he remained
in Nargothrond. At last they spurred
their horses north, and spoke no word
but sounded horns, and rode away
like wind at end of stormy day.

There is a missing bit here (bolded), which needs to be added back in:

There Curufin and Celegorm {2985}
in sudden tumult like the wind [3275]
rode up. The hooves of horses dinned
loud on the earth. In rage and haste
thus madly eastward they now raced,