[The Barrow-Wight]

Orie, oh!

Your departure from the Citibank has grieved me sorely, so much that I have summoned the famous pain reliever Anbesol, yet I remain steadfast in my conviction that it was the right thing to do to send you away from Minus Toothless. Our Proctorly bark has become much stronger than our bite, and there was no way I could guarantee your safety or that of your uncouth companions. With you gone, I can confidently rebuild the city, with the help of Aardvark & Sons, and soon we will have a city to smile about.

I’m sure you will recognize and greatly appreciate the gift I have sent to you. Singéd is a direct descendent from the Morose of Noodledor, a direct descendent of Fellofftheroof, and he shall serve you well. Treat him with respect and he will prove the most useful of companions.

From the Porcelain Throne,
Orogarn Won, Denimthor, Proctor of Grundor

P.S. I’ve changed our motto again. The ‘do it on the throne’ was widely misinterpreted by the Falwellians. It is now “Join the Proctor and gamble for free !” It’s promoting the new Corsair Casino we’re opening next month in Harlond, thanks to Aardvark ™.


Orogarn Two neatly folded the still-smoking letter from his father and slid it gingerly into his back pocket. It was hard for him to believe that he had actually left the city after such a calamity, and the gift ‘horse’ he walked beside only helped to reinforce the idea that he should not have departed Minus Teeth. Minus Toothless, now, he thought.

The smouldering stallion barely resembled any mount he had ever seen, and by its size it was obviously the smallest Morosa ever to stumble out of a Grundorian stable. There were bigger dogs in the Wight City! Still, the slightly crisped creature would certainly prove useful over the many leagues the Itship would soon travel, and Orogarn Two intended to take advantage of the many interesting items Denimthor had thoughtfully filled the beast’s saddlebags with.


He looked over the too-low back of Singéd to stare at the newcomer. He called himself the Gateskeeper, but he dressed more like the crypt keeper, and that creepy glove reminded Orogarn Two of an oddball character who had often performed at the Old Guesthouse with a troop of young boys. The hissing lisp did not improve his impression of the man, if indeed he was one.

Note to self: Buy a trash bag for Pimpi. That girl is messy!