[The 1,000 Reader]

"And so the last High King of the Noldor and the father of Isildur wrestled with Sauron on the plains of Gorgoroth. Long was the battle and many a crowd did it gather, for a fee of sixty dollars. And the kings tried a double closeline, yet the Dark Lord grabbed their necks, walked about the entire ring yelling to the audience, and then finally choke-slammed them into the ground. But lo! The kings swung their legs up high, and both impacted on the back of Sauron's skull, sending him reeling forward and loosening his grip. The duo rolled out of the falling weight's path, stood up, and then kicked Sauron like sissies. When his head ceased to throb, the Dark Lord thrust his elbows into the soles of their feet, and they gave a shout and fell.

When ground met the kings Sauron rose above them, and Elendil was wounded by a kick to his ribs. Gil-Galad attempted to regain his footing, but he was given a fist in his face and returned to the ashen soil. Up was the Noldor leader raised by the hand of Sauron, and twice was he brought back down by the other hand of the Ringlord. Vision fading, Gil-Galad was dragged to his feet, prepared to let the darkness of his mind carry him away from the next blow. Yet when his hope had teetered on the edge, the Dark Lord's arm was caught, and when he turned to look it was he who was hit in the face. And as the Dark One staggered backwards, Gil-Galad caught himself in his fall and brought himself up with foe in hand, and over his shoulder did Sauron get thrown.

Seeing an opportunity, ruler of both Elf and Man took each a leg of the shadow and brought it harshly on a land just as harsh. With no hesitation, Elendil and Gil-Galad pounced upon Mordor's master, and let their fists abuse the fearsome face of Sauron. On they went until a hand was driven into their each of their guts, and the winded warriors were taken by the servant of Bauglir. Their heads met the other with force, and when the skulls had halted upon the other a third cranium, that of the Dark Lord's, crashed into theirs. Again tumbled Elendil and Gil-Galad, and the feet of the Dark Lord danced over them. With his hate of the elves resolving his mind, Sauron lifted his foot over the High King Gil-Galad, son of Fingon. But when the foot came down up went Gil-Galad's hands, and with great strength and a powerful jerk the Dark Lord crumbled and painfully impacted onto the ruined fields of his realm. Gil-Galad returned the stomps given to him, yet suddenly halted. Panic took hold of Sauron, and in his rush to return to his feet did he meet Gil-Galad's trap.

When Sauron had regained his full height the lord of the elves leapt forward, and he thrust his foot towards the skies and aimed at the face of the Abhorred. O such sweet Chin Music rang that day, to be repeated in all the ages to follow! Sauron fell off his feet on contact. However, long had it been since Gil-Galad could find rest or water, and so as the Dark Lord was sent down did the heat exhaustion of Gil-Galad prove too much, and there he died on that day when the flailing hand of Sauron brushed against him. The defiant descendent of Fingon caught with his eyes his ally in battle gaining a second wind. He would never see again.

A rage filled Elendil, hatred for the one who assisted in the tainting of his homeland and the one who caused his elvish friend to die. He took his helm in hand from his head, and akin to a wild beast did Elendil dash forward and trample Sauron's body in his approach to the fallen Elf-Lord. He stood over the fallen body, and the sight of it maddened him even more. To the skies did his helmet fly, accompanied by a terrible yell. His momentum still with him, Elendil turned on his feet and ran to the fallen Maia. The side of Sauron he reached before driving all of his power and movement upwards with his arm. With a last, furious gaze did Elendil cast himself towards Sauron.

Long preserved in song was that moment. The beastly king rushed to his fallen foe, and with the power of his arm thrown down ahead of him did Elendil take vengence. The (Free) People's Elbow crushed the throat and all the rest of Sauron's neck, and the second shadow over Middle-Earth had taken a mortal blow. Still do elves weep over the other result of the assault. Poor King Elendil was an old man, even for one of Numenorian blood, and his heart no longer strived for his life, and so perished Elendil, founder of Arnor.

There was no man standing who could take victory now, thus it seemed that the royalty of the Last Alliance had broken itself in vain, and the influence of Sauron would continue to exist. Just when hope seemed lost, a shout tore through the valley, and from a freshly-slaughtered horde of orcs did Elendil's only living son Isildur rush to the personal battlefield. Through the audience he came, and down the ramp leading to the grounds he went and he dropped over the body of the Dark Lord. One count he remained over Sauron and then for a second he lay there. And when the worst expectations of man and elf were thought to come, the third count had arrived. With shock that the Dark Lord did not rise at the last moment, all were stunned until a single voice rose up in cheer. So followed all the voices of man and elf, drowning out the horrified ones of the orcs and trolls.

And so passed the Second Age's greatest conflict."