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Old 03-17-2006, 11:28 PM   #305
Regal Dwarven Shade
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,588
Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.

Kuruharan simply couldn’t take anymore of this. He’d already regurgitated everything he’d had to eat for the past three months. If Merisuwyniel’s hushed confession turned out to be what he was afraid it might be…he’d probably have a bout so severe as to cause him to retroactively starve to death. (Of course, he wouldn’t have been in this position if he hadn’t followed them in the first place in hopes that he might overhear something worthy of blackmail, or at least get some good pictures with a strange picture-box he’d bought in the Seventh Age…)

Suppressing his gorge, he tramped into the idyllic silvan glen and confronted the startled lovers.


Kuruharan affected to ignore their…ahem…state and looked down the mountain and toward the sea.

“Magnificent view,” he said to the world in general.

Merisuwyniel ran up and tried to slap him, but he leapt aside.

“For some reason,” said Kuruharan, “I’m having the most curious sense of déjà-vu. I believe we’ve done this scene before."

The irritation in Merisuwyniel’s heart suddenly dissipated into sadness and solemnity. She knew what the dwarf was about now. Annoying as he could be, she had a sinking feeling that life might prove just a shade…duller without the dwarf and his dragon.

There was another long moment of staring out to sea.

“It’s odd how things work out,” observed Kuruharan. “The last time Earnur was with you and Gravlox was…ahhh…quite dead. Now Earnur is dead and Gravlox is with you.”

“What are you implying?” said Merisuwyniel.

“Some people might think that you are bad luc…I mean, that Gravlox is a lucky, lucky orc…elf!!!” said Kuruharan hurriedly.

“You’re not even going to stay for Pimpi’s and Vogonwë’s wedding?” asked Merisuwyniel.

“Ummm…I’ve suddenly had my fill of elven wedding customs,” said Kuruharan. "I’m not sure I really want to. Besides, I’ve got this whole dramatic flying off into the sunrise thing planned and I’d really hate to miss it.”

There was a flurry of activity as Kuruharan made his announcement to the rest of the Gallowship. The news that the Gallowship were to see the first successful live escapee…uhhh…survivor…no…departure filled them with sadness. To further the melancholy, Reeperneep announced that he too would be accompanying the dwarf on his further adventures. When asked what those would be the glorious mouse only said that it had something to do with club bouncing…or was it a bouncing club…or something like that.

When all was loaded (including some of the watchers), Reeperneep took his station perched between Chrysophylax’s horns. He wore an expression of keen anticipation. He’d known that seeking the end of the world in the west would prove to be utter nonsense! Now they were heading in the right direction!! Eastward HO!!!

Kuruharan stood next to the dragon. He looked exactly the way he had the first time they had seen him. He still had neatly brushed light brown hair and beard, and twinkling blue-gray eyes. His clothes were still (somehow) very sharp. He still wore his cloak of the deepest crimson with silver fringe. Under that he still wore a full length coat of dark blue with gold embroidery along the edge. His tunic was still spotless and as red as a cherry, with more gold embroidery. He wore a gold belt with an axe thrust into it, and his boots were impeccably polished. On a gold chain around his neck he still wore a large golden dragon pendent. He either hadn’t aged a day or somebody had gone back to the original thread and cut and paste the same exact text and plopped it down here!

If the Gallowship hadn’t known any better, they’d have thought everything that had happened had been a dream and that he’d just landed back in the Hidden Farm…oh, how long ago was it…? It looked exactly the same…well, except for the fact that they were on a different continent, the fact that a fair portion of the individuals who had been present at that original introduction were dead through the ravages of war or the heroic over-consumption of alcohol, the fact that there were a number of odd new additions to the group (not the least of which was the mouse perched on the dragon’s horns), the fact that most of the surviving members of the Gallowship had married each other, the fact that they were surrounded by Velour…oh yes, and the fact that the Ent-That-Was-Broken was Broken no more! Other than all that (and maybe a few other things I’ve forgotten), everything was exactly the same!

There was another long pause.

“Well,” said Kuruharan, figuring there was nothing else for it, “here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea…”

“We’re not on the seashore,” interrupted Pimpi.

“brahum…” sputtered Kuruharan. “Here at last, dear friends, on the sides of the Mountain comes the end of our Gallowship in Muddled-mirth…”

“We’re not in Muddled-mirth,” interrupted Vogonwë.

“Ugh!” snapped Kuruharan. “Here at last, on the sides of the Mountain comes the end of our Gallowship in Valleyum!! There happy now?!! I would say ‘do not weep’ but I know that you just won’t be able to help it!”

With those words of benediction, the dwarf climbed onto the dragon and they were aloft.

There was much waving of hands and wishing of farewell as dwarf, dragon, and mouse rose to the clouds and set off.

Merisuwyniel just couldn’t resist getting in the last shot.

“Muddled-mirth is in the other direction, you IDIOT!!!”

After a sudden course correction from west to east, some embarrassed staring off in the other direction, and pretending he’d meant to do that…there was a last round of waving ta-ta as the Gallowship watched the trio soar through the skies until all sight of them was lost in the sunrise.

I suppose you probably want to know what happened to them after they got back.

They got back. Kuruharan used his gaming license to re-establish the great kingdom of Hazard-boom. He expanded the resorts and casinos until they exceeded in size and gaudiness even those of the Ancient Days. He also made King Gain Lotsamoola an offer he couldn’t refuse and got a hefty share of the take from the Trebor Resort and Casino. Reeperneep signed on as Kuruharan’s hired muscle and enjoyed a life of continually getting into brawls, battles, and total wars. However, he was always agitating that they hadn’t “gone far enough east!!” Chrysophylax received a franchise and set up his own shop in the Wight Mountains above Minus Teeth and preyed upon the hapless Grundorians who were still devastated at the destruction of their fair city. He also got into an unseemly brawl with Lord Dimli of the Glitzy Caverns Resort and Casino…but litigation is still pending in that case and the judge has placed a gag order.

However, from time to time, these three would occasionally get bored and go rampaging about the landscape again looking for adventure…so you just never know when they might turn up again…likely as not, they probably found some of their old friends someplace or maybe they’ll turn up in your story sometime!

Last edited by Kuruharan; 05-11-2006 at 06:56 AM.
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