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The Noldor started the fighting in the first kinslaying by trying to steal ships.
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We don't know who first drew swords.
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The other two kinslayings were silmaril-related, I believe.
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One example is Celegorm attempting to murder Beren by shooting him when his back was turned.
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8 Noldor, driven by an oath that "none shall break and none should take" don't define an entire race.
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They always seem to justify it somehow in my experience.
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Melkor's sole purpose in using the orcs, as stated in Myths Transformed, is the elimination of elves and men. I certainly doubt you consider some other reasons, such as plunder, as a justification.
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That Dwarven Necklace, the name of which I've forgotten.
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The Nauglamir was made after the noldor reached Middle Earth. If it carried any corruption for an elf (Thingol), it was after it held the silmaril.
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The Elves of Nargothrond also shot anybody - Elf or Man - who approached their gates.
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In what instances did they shoot? Celegorm and Curufin and their people found haven there, so did Orodreth.