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Old 07-08-2001, 10:01 AM   #51
jallanite
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Re: A project ~~~~Revising the Fall of Gondolin

Suggested changes to the poem &quot;The Horns of Ylmir&quot;

This poem is found in The Shaping of Middle-earth (HoME 4), III The Quenta, Appendix 2.

Lines 13 to 66 are a poem about a violent rising tide complete in itself. The poem was called The Tides and was annotated Dec. 4 1914 and On the Cornish Coast.

Later JRRT added lines 1-12 and 67-74 to provide a frame to present the original poem as a vision seen by Tuor when he heard the horns of Ulmo in the Land of Willows. The new beginning and conclusion are tightly bound to the BoLT version of the Tuor story where Tuor first hears Ulmo's horns while standing knee-deep in the grass of the Land of Willows at twilight and senses no more the sounds, sights and odors of that land. He is transported in his mind to a rocky seacoast and sees, hears, and smells the sea. Then he awakens and finds himself still in the inland grasses among the willows.

In the new Tuor Ulmo's meeting with Tuor occured inland but right on the seacoast as a storm arose. Only after Ulmo gave Tuor his message did he blow on his horn, but not in long playing of musics but in &quot;a single great note&quot;. Since Tuor in this version is already on just such a stormy seacoast such as he saw in his vision in the previous version, the vision called forth in the new version must be changed. Now instead Tuor sees all the waters of the world, then the depths of the Sea, and then the coast of Valinor under Oiolossė, suddenly awakening to the thunder of the storm.

The poem of course can be used without the introductory and concluding lines, making only the emendation of &quot;roaring&quot; to &quot;rolling&quot; as given by CT in this note for line 21 and the nomalizing change of Ylmir to Ulmo. This is certainly the most conservative solution.

I do however have some suggestions for possible modification of the introduction and conclusion.

The first four lines are incompatible and must be dropped.

The next six I change (following also the emendation in the notes of &quot;'Twas&quot; to &quot;It was&quot from:<blockquote>Quote:<hr>
Inland musics subtly magic that those reeds alone could weave***
'Twas was in the Land of Willows that once Ylmir came at eve.

In the twilight by the river on a hollow thing of shell
He made immortal music, till my heart beneath his spell
Was broken in the twilight, and the meadows faded dim
To great grey waters heaving round the rocks where sea-birds swim<hr></blockquote>to:<blockquote>Quote:<hr>
<u>To sea</u> musics <u>ringing</u> magic that <u>the wind and wave can</u> weave***
It was in the <u>l</u>and of <u>Nevrast</u> that once <u>Ulmo</u> came at eve.

In the twilight <u>on</u> the <u>sea-strand through</u> a hollow thing of shell
He <u>blew one long and piercing note***</u> my heart beneath his spell
Was broken in the twilight, and the <u>storm-cold</u> faded dim
<u>On</u> great grey waters heaving round the rocks where sea-birds swim.<hr></blockquote>The conclusion I emend differently by changing most of it from past tense to present tense. Tuor now proclaims his current situation in the Land of Willows where again the sea-longing has come upon him, thus from:<blockquote>Quote:<hr> Then the magic drifted from me and that music loosed its bands***
Far, far-off, conches calling*** lo! I stood in the sweet lands,
And the meadows were about me where the weeping willows grew,
Where the long grass stirred beside me, and my feet were drenched with dew.
Only the reeds were rustling, but a mist lay on the streams
Like a sea-roke drawn far inland, like a shred of salt sea-dreams.
'Twas in the Land of Willows that I heard th'unfathomed breath
Of the Horns of Ylmir calling*** and shall hear them till my death.<hr></blockquote>to:<blockquote>Quote:<hr> Then the magic drifted from me and that music loosed its bands **
Far, far-off, conches calling ** <u>now</u> I st<u>an</u>d in the sweet lands,
And the meadows <u>a</u>re about me <u>with</u> the weeping willows <u>too</u>,
Where the long grass stir<u>s</u> beside me, and my feet <u>a</u>re drenched with dew.
Only the reeds <u>a</u>re rustling, but a mist l<u>ies</u> on the streams
Like a sea-roke drawn far inland, like a shred of salt sea-dreams.
'T<u>i</u>s in the Land of Willows that I <u>hear</u> th'unfathomed breath
Of the Horns of <u>Ulmo</u> calling ** and shall hear them till my death.<hr></blockquote>Let others now comment and improve and suggest different changes ** or say perhaps such emendations are too great to be allowed in this project.

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000212>jallanit e</A> at: 7/8/01 3:36:00 pm
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