[Mithalwen]

Sorry I didn't want to imply a lack of affection ..... more that I hoped I had a slightly different relationship with my god daughter - less parental more friend... I no longer feel qualified to give religious guidance I suppose I would hope to support her to realise her full potential and become as fulfilled as possible..and to realise she is growing up and treat her accordingly not as a child but as a bright young person - just with less experience of the world .... but I do tell her if I think she is being a brat ... but mainly I want her to get well and be able to lead a normal life.. but because I am not her actual parent or indeed a parent it is easier to adjust maybe.....

I think it is hard for parents to let go - I mean they spend so long paranoically watching every step and trying to let go ..... and they also find it hard to get rid of their long established "labels" - I was the youngest in my family for 16 years and they get so used to you being the one who knows nothing...... It happened that I had to renew my passport when I was in France and I met a newish friend just after collecting it - and he was horrified when he saw from that I was 2 months younger than his youngest sister. He assumed I was older, .... not because I looked older but because having met me as an adult he thought of me as such, whereas she was still in his mind his baby sister .....