[TheMisfortuneTeller]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I fell in love with the "forest daughter",
And it took quite a while to get her.
For she's more prolific than she ought'er
With many an Elf for to bed her.
And now I've had trouble passing water
Ever since I met her.

OK. Nice idea. So how about:

Elvish STDs

I fell in lust with the "forest daughter."
Through bushes and brambles, for ages I sought her.
She wanted a ring, so I heard, which I bought her
From dwarves who for payment insisted I slaughter
Some goblins for them. This I did, then I brought her
The thing she desired. Was she happy? No, not her.
It turned out her mind she had changed, now she thought her
Affections best lavished on men who had fought her.
So this I did, too. And I won! I had caught her!
But bad luck for me, no one ever had taught her
About elf diseases, and so when I got her
She gave me a pain when I try to pass water.