Your hints make me almost a hundred percent sure it's the following:
Quote:
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"I'll give you Sharkey, you dirty thieving ruffians", says she, and ups with her umbrella and goes for the leader, nearly twice her size. "I've waited long enough for things to come my way," says she. "I won't stand by and let you ruin it now!"
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Tom Cotton telling Frodo the latest news in "the Scouring of the Shire"
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And no one was ill, and everyone was pleased, except those who had to mow the grass.
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