Fate looks certain but there’s nothing guaranteed
Want for nothing, but is nothing what you need?
Always pushing but you’re never satisfied
I did believe you ’til I found out that you lied. – Time Again
(Asia)
The race chase continues through Rohan.
We get a flyover shot above the Uruks, who are maintaining three somewhat straight lines, unlike in the books where the marching was less disciplined. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli continue to hustle after them, though the Uruks aren’t even that close.
Again I expected more green color on the screen – not Hobbiton Tellyland, but less rock - as by now we have to be in Rohan proper.
Oh my! We’re seconds into this sequence and the dwarf jokes have already begun. Now, assumedly, dwarves are a hardy folk, maybe the hardiest, and are able to bear great burdens over long distances. Think of Dáin II Ironfoot’s folk traveling to Thorin’s aid, or the dwarves that carried away anything of value after the Battle of Azanulbizar. Gimli is not much encumbered, but it is he who continually falls behind in the chase. Was this in the books, or is PJ adding something? And even if Gimli is the slowest of the three, need he be the one who (1) complains, (2) is the comic relief and (3) is shown in such distress? Slow and out of breath are not always linked. The other two natural sprinters could be way ahead of poor Gimli, yet be sucking twice the wind.
Why, PJ, why? In Gimli perhaps did you see yourself?
Legolas comments on the orcs’ speed, and why he is permitted a serious observation and not Gimli, I don’t know. We get more scenery shots of our three runners, and I can’t help but think that glaciers deposited those
rocks as they retreated northward, even though it’s not exactly right.
We get back to the leaders in this race as they break camp for the night (orcs settling down for the evening?). The hobbit baggage is cast to the ground while the troop sorts out the business. Some orcs, kin to Gimli perhaps, need to “breathe.” The leader starts ordering the camp, where the first task is lighting a fire. Next, I suppose, he will assign tents and dig a latrine. We note that the orcs are very near a forest, and I’m guessing that it’s Fangorn.
PJ makes his way over to poor Merry, who now reconsiders having left the Shire. Here, not like in the books, Merry’s inclusion in the tale seems happenstance, or some fated event, as he meets up with Sam and Frodo in Farmer Maggot’s fields. If Farmer Maggot is actually Eru Iluvatar, then it is punishing Merry and Pip by sending them along with Frodo. If not…
Well, Merry, ya should have thought that out a little better in Rivendell, but still I’m glad that you’re at least (finally) showing some sense. Is Pippin actually smiling? Hopefully the sense will float over to Pip as well.
There’s that shirtless tree-chopping orc again! Now, as the orcs begin chopping enough wood to light a fire that can be seen across ME, the hobbits notice that something just ain’t quite right in them woods. They hear something, but what will it be? Whales this far inland? It’s possible, as at one time they had legs, and you just know how attractive the One Ring is (psst! I know that Merry or Pip doesn't have it).
Merry thinks that it’s the trees a talking, and he compares them to the Old Forest trees outside Buckland that purportedly came alive (well, all trees are technically alive, but I think that he means animated walking talking CG bores). At least we have a reference to the missing Forest and Bombadil, and that PJ didn’t make up something completely new.
The Uruks begin complaining about their conditions. Maggoty bread for three stinking days, he says.
And just what airline did you fly, sir?
Weren’t these same Uruks the uber-soldiers that could not tire, feel pain, question orders or what have you when Saruman launched them after the FotR? Guess all that running across ME (possible 500+ miles/ 800+ kilometers) just changes an orc. And the other orcs, lighter in skin and voice, agree that the victuals have been found wanting. Lacking strips of dried meat, the orcs look elsewhere for some protein.
The hobbits appear to be good eating, thought to taste like chicken - though the sense of having hauled them across Rohan so that they could be roasted (or not) on the outskirts of Fangorn is a bit silly, but these are orcs. Luckily for Merry and Pippin the Uruks are there, and they protect the small hobbits from being eaten, whole or in part. But wasn’t that an Uruk that started this conversation?
Next time, try tofu.
Still the Lugbúrz (?) orcs continue to obsess over the hobbits, and I’m not sure why. Was that a “Hannibal Lector” sound that I heard. Note that it’s possible, as I didn’t notice any of the smaller light skinned or hunchy head-jerking Mordorian orc breeds in the overview running shot, that this is Mauhúr and his boys, or is that some other orc band? Whatever.
We hear that the leader knows that these two hobbits could be carrying the Ring, but that’s not exactly what he says. Again why Saruman didn’t ship them directly to Lugbúrz is a mystery, and the only reason I can posit in the film is that the orcs couldn’t get across the Anduin, and so taking the Ring back to Saruman was the next best option. Fly Isengard airlines, with Fell Beasts leaving for points East on the hour.
Merry realizes that without the Ring, they
will be on the menu. The leader begins lopping off heads to put sense in the others, as in the books. And, true to form, after killing something the big Uruk makes a joke and the orcs turn cannibal, eating the slain orc of different breed.
In all of the rendering of the supper, the hobbits are momentarily forgotten and so seek to escape. Hello orcs! They must be really hungry and so forget all of that nonsense that Saruman was spouting a movie ago. But the hobbits don’t get far as 'head-jerker orc' stomps on them, then taunts them. His statement regarding the saving of the hobbits is odd in that the Uruks are nearby and just seconds ago one just beheaded an orc for trying to bite the hobbits. Orcs.
And it’s well known that as soon as you say that ‘no one can save you now,’ that shortly thereafter, the saving will take place. Naturally, then, the orc is spitted and we hear the sound of horses.
The campers come under attack by the riders (presumably of Rohan), and Pip and Merry try to stay out of the way, as they may be mistaken for small snuffling orcs. The Uruks are quickly cut down, and I liked the Rohan bowman who could shoot both in front of and behind himself while riding. The scene ends with hooves threatening to flatten Pip (cheer!).
We jump back to the Three Hunters, learning a little weather wisdom from Legolas. A red dawn indicates (1) blood has been spilled that night or (2) the Wolverines are repelling the communists from Colorado. Regardless, I thought that it was “red at night, sailor’s delight; red in the morn, sailors be warned” (Note that the saying also appears in the Christian Bible). Having spent most of my life in a rusting steel town, I’ve witnessed many beautiful sunrises and sunsets, and many were reddened. The spew from the mills adds particles to the air, and this can impart more colors and hues than usual. The only air color that ever concerned me was green, as that usually was an indication that a train car carrying chlorine gas derailed, and that it would be a good idea to stay indoors a while until the sirens quieted down.
Suddenly, the three hunters pause as they hear the sound of horses. Éomer and his troop ride back up the trail of the orcs, presumably, and Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli step aside to get out of sight. Aren’t those elvish cloaks they’re wearing? As riders make to pass by, Aragorn calls out to them.
The riders turn and bear down upon their new target. Suddenly the three are ringed in spears, which when you see it seems a bit overkill and to me possibly dangerous to the riders. Éomer asks their business in the Riddermark, and Gimli responds with twice the bravado. Aragorn obviously wishes that Gimli was more polite, but at least he’s not acting foolish. Éomer dismounts to push back at Gimli, and then Legolas enters the
testosteronefest. After that, we have about 1000 spears and assorted sharp pointy things pointed at practically everyone, and all that it would take to set off this local Dagor Dagorath is one horsefly’s sharp bite.
Aragorn’s calmer head prevails, and he starts making with the niceties. Éomer states that Théoden King is blind to both friend or foe (“…and, Aragorn, that means me”). He says that Saruman has claimed Rohan, and except for those still loyal, there isn’t much resistance.
Éomer then begins to set us up for a meeting with a “White Wizard,” hoping to confuse what we may later see. He looks directly at Legolas when he speaks of spies wiggling through all nets, and I’m not sure if he’s accusing the elf or not.
Legolas looks like he could give a hoot.
Aragorn tells them of their quest, to rescue the hobbits in the clutches of the Uruks, but to that Éomer has no good news. Hope has failed.
The horses, named as in the books, are given to the three. How Éomer went from "y’all are spies!" to "would you like a pony ride?" was a bit quick, but I guess we’re counting seconds here. Now, the meeting between Aragorn and Éomer went well enough, but I dislike that Éomer is riding
from Edoras and not
to it. But as he’s been banished, what’s the point of him going there? Still, he bearing swords beside Aragorn would have been a welcome scene, as I like Karl Urban. The Rohirrim leave, off to greener pastures north, leaving Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas to their tattered quest.
The three hunters gallop on, with no hope of finding their two friends alive, but still, they do what they must, and ride to the journey’s end.