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Meneltarmacil · 07-14-2003, 10:48 AM

Since I started the Orthanc scene parody, maybe I should finish it. Here goes...
(Saruman's study inside Orthanc)
SARUMAN: Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all... His gaze pierces clouds, shadow, earth and flesh.
GANDALF: You mean he can see me when I dress in drag and sing "Oops I Did It Again"?
SARUMAN: What did you just say?!!!
GANDALF: Uhh, nothing, nothing!
SARUMAN: OK, as I was saying before, he is gathering all evil to him. Very soon he will have summoned an army great enough to launch an assault on Middle Earth.
GANDALF: You know this? How?
SARUMAN: I have seen it...
*they go into Saruman's throne room*
GANDALF: A Palantir is a dangerous tool, Saruman.
SARUMAN: Why? Why should we fear to use it? Everybody's doing it. It's kind of the new wave. Plus I got mine at half price!
GANDALF: They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing Stones. We do not know who else got theirs for half price.
SARUMAN: The IRS have left Minas Morgul. Thy will find the Ring, and force the one who carries it to fill out endless forms!
GANDALF: Frodo!
*he tries to leave, but Saruman shuts all the doors*
SARUMAN: We must join with him. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend...
GANDALF: Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?
SARUMAN: AAAAAH!
*suddenly, the theme from "The Matrix" plays and they both attack each other with impossible martial arts moves. The whole room becomes a blur*
*Gandalf snatches Saruman's staff*
SARUMAN: Hey! I'm supposed to steal YOUR staff! You messed it up again!
PJ: Cut! Let's try that one again!
SARUMAN*pulls out lightsaber*: You will join the Dark Side...
PJ: Cut! Wrong movie! This is NOT Attack of the Clones, and you are NOT Count Dooku!
SARUMAN: Grrrrr.. Oh, I mean *snatches Gandalf's staff* I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected a way of... PAIN!
*sends Gandalf to the top of the tower*

07-14-2003, 10:48 AM	#17
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	Since I started the Orthanc scene parody, maybe I should finish it. Here goes... (Saruman's study inside Orthanc) SARUMAN: Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all... His gaze pierces clouds, shadow, earth and flesh. GANDALF: You mean he can see me when I dress in drag and sing "Oops I Did It Again"? SARUMAN: What did you just say?!!! GANDALF: Uhh, nothing, nothing! SARUMAN: OK, as I was saying before, he is gathering all evil to him. Very soon he will have summoned an army great enough to launch an assault on Middle Earth. GANDALF: You know this? How? SARUMAN: I have seen it... they go into Saruman's throne room GANDALF: A Palantir is a dangerous tool, Saruman. SARUMAN: Why? Why should we fear to use it? Everybody's doing it. It's kind of the new wave. Plus I got mine at half price! GANDALF: They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing Stones. We do not know who else got theirs for half price. SARUMAN: The IRS have left Minas Morgul. Thy will find the Ring, and force the one who carries it to fill out endless forms! GANDALF: Frodo! he tries to leave, but Saruman shuts all the doors SARUMAN: We must join with him. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend... GANDALF: Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness? SARUMAN: AAAAAH! suddenly, the theme from "The Matrix" plays and they both attack each other with impossible martial arts moves. The whole room becomes a blur Gandalf snatches Saruman's staff SARUMAN: Hey! I'm supposed to steal YOUR staff! You messed it up again! PJ: Cut! Let's try that one again! SARUMANpulls out lightsaber: You will join the Dark Side... PJ: Cut! Wrong movie! This is NOT Attack of the Clones, and you are NOT Count Dooku! SARUMAN: Grrrrr.. Oh, I mean snatches Gandalf's staff I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected a way of... PAIN! sends Gandalf to the top of the tower __________________ I ♣ baby seals.