[Hookbill the Goomba]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Came a voice from just above Smilog's head. He stopped and looked around, yet all he saw was the volcanic rock of the now infamous Mount Zoom palace and casino (and, more recently, racing vehicle). Tollin was also looking for the origin of this sound. "Blasted rigamortis!" said the same voice, "I'll give it what for!"

Roggie rolled his eyes and leaped up on the rock behind Smilog and lifted out from behind it, the Barrow Wight who had been following them. One of its legs was dangling off and he wore a rather ghastly (and, unfortunately, permanent) grin on his face. "What are you doing here?" asked the Balrog, setting the Wight down.

"Well, you see," he coughed, "my dear old thing, I'm sorry about the other chaps. They get a bit carried away some times and when I said Project zoom needed to be destroyed 'at all costs' they took it a little too seriously." Smilog climbed up and drew his axe, but Roggie signal that he should put it away. "Listen," continued the Wight, "perhaps I can help you fellows out? I may be just rotten flesh and bones, but I can be quite the tuff customer. I once kept a line held up in the post office for ten minuets!"

Smilog sniggered, "Yes, terrifying."

"I thought so," the Wight clicked his leg back into place and looked, blurry eyed at his surroundings. "Is the crack of DOOM far?" he asked. Roggie pointed with his peg leg down towards it. No more than fifty yards away, but the going looked rugged and difficult all the same. They slowly resumed climbing down, carefully stepping on each foothold as it came, with Tollin leading the way, Roggie next, Smilog and the Wight last.

At some points the mountain would rumble and the engine would start up and then die down again. They all grew quite nervous with anticipation, this had been a hard day's work and it looked as if it was about to get harder. When Tollin, Roggie and Smilog had got to the bottom and to the small ledge before the Crack of DOOM, they looked up to see the Wight falling down. He hit the ground with a crack and his head rolled off. "Ah," he said, "you couldn't give me a hand, chaps?"

Reluctantly, they scanned the surroundings and picked up the random bones and ligaments lying around the area and put the Wight back together. Roggie put the head on and, just for fun, put it on backwards. They all laughed, except the Wight who stumbled around before tripping up and losing his head (literally) he picked it up and put it on himself. "Oh, childish games," he said angrily, "playground stuff!"

They looked at the crack of DOOM, standing ominous and strange, with the path winding back behind them. In front of the Crack was placed a large metal door, terrible to look upon, wrote of black metal with horrid faces depicted on it. Orc writing could be read saying, 'Go home Roggie' which was strange, seeing as Mordor was Roggie's home. "I don't like this place," said Smilog gripping his axe as he examined the door. The horror of it was somewhat lessened by the small 'Do not disturb' sign placed on the doorknob.

Slowly and silently, the Dwarf opened the door and stepped through, the light of the magma could be seen, dim and faint in the distance. The stenches of the volcanic gasses oozed forth and set all the hair on Tollin’s face and back straight. Even Roggie seemed a little nervous, not knowing what dark forces may await them inside the crack of DOOM.

"LEAVE THIS PLACE!" came a voice from within.

"Right you are!" said the Wight, pulling everyone out and slamming the door shut. He puffed and panted far too much for someone without lungs. Smilog sat with his back to the door and began to think to himself. Roggie paced up and down, his peg leg kicking rocks here and there. Tollin sat on a rock and looked towards the sun as it slowly began to sink. "Maybe we should jolly well get some sleep?" said The Barrow Wight.