VE-01: At line 5 in the Lay fragment there is a missing {Gwareth}[Gwared] change.
Also, I now have doubts about moving these lines to the end:
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all this have others in ancient stories
and songs unfolded, but say I further
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It doesn’t really work if we simply put a period at the end of it; ‘say I further’ feels like it needs to have an object. Since we are using the fragment as the beginning of the Earendil chapter, rather than at the end of the Gondolin chapter, I think perhaps we can leave those lines where they originally were:
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VE-01 <Lay Lo! the flame of fire and fierce hatred
engulfed Gondolin and its glory fell,
its tapering towers and its tall rooftops
were laid all low, and its leaping fountains
made no music more on the mount of Gwareth,
and its whitehewn walls were whispering ash.
{But Wade of the Helsings wearyhearted}
{Tûr}[Tuor] the earthborn was tried in battle
from the wrack and ruin a remnant led
women and children and wailing maidens
and wounded men of the withered folk
down the path unproven that pierced the hillside,
neath {Tumladin}[Tumladen] he led them to the leaguer of hills
that rose up rugged as ranged pinnacles
to the north of the vale. There the narrow way
{of Cristhorn was cloven, the Cleft of Eagles,}
[in the cliffs was cloven, Cirith Thoronath,]
through the midmost mountains. And more is told
in lays and in legend and lore of others
of that weary way of the wandering folk;
how the waifs of Gondolin outwitted {Melko}[Morgoth],
vanished o'er the vale and vanquished the hills,
how Glorfindel the golden in the gap of the Eagles
battled with the Balrog and both were slain:
one like flash of fire from fangéd rock,
one like bolted thunder black was smitten
to the dreadful deep digged by {Thornsir}[Thor’nhir].
Of the thirst and hunger of the {thirty moons}[thwarting mazes]
when they sought for Sirion and were sore bestead
by plague and peril; of the Pools of Twilight
and Land of Willows; when their lamentation
was heard in the halls where the high {Gods}[Lords] sate
veiled in Valinor [past] the Vanished {Isles}[Isle];
all this have others in ancient stories
and songs unfolded, but say I further
how their lot was lightened, how they laid them down
in long grasses of the Land of Willows.
There sun was softer, [there] the sweet breezes
and whispering winds, there wells of slumber
and the dew enchanted, [drenched then their feet.]
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The opening paragraph reads rather well considering that it was fashioned out of so many diverse sources. One point, thought:
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<TE-N(iii) smaller than most men but nimbled-footed and a swift swimmer (but Voronwë could not swim).>
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As Voronwe has not yet been named in this chapter, this really comes out of the blue. Moreover, I doubt whether it’s true. In the Lost Tales Voronwe was an escaped thrall of Angband; in the later story he was the captain of the last ship sent west at Turgon’s bidding. I know that the Noldor were not renowned for their skill as ship-builders or mariners, but surely Turgon would at least have been able to find a captain who could swim! I suggest we delete the parenthetical comment:
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<TE-N(iii) smaller than most men but nimbled-footed and a swift swimmer {(but Voronwë could not swim)}.>
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In
VE-07:
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There {is a skiff}[was the Eärámë]. {Tur}[Tuor and Idril] {bids}bade farwell to {Eärendel}[Eärendil] and {bids}bade him thrust it off
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I would not use the article with the name of the ship. Also, there’s a typo in ‘farwell’:
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There {is a skiff}[was Eärámë]. {Tur}[Tuor and Idril] {bids}bade farewell to {Eärendel}[Eärendil] and {bids}bade him thrust it off
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In
VE-10:
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and <FG Galdor {'was} that valiant {Gnome}[Noldo]
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I think that, following our general policy (see the general name changes thread) we should emend to ‘Elf’ rather than ‘Noldo’:
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and <FG Galdor {'was} that valiant {Gnome}[Elf]
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VE-11:
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VE-11 But Ulmo bore her up and he gave unto her the likeness of a great white bird, and upon her breast there shone as a star the shining Silmaril,
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Immediately before this comes an inserted passage wherein the survivors tell of the capture of Elrond and Elros and Elwing’s casting herself in the sea. I think that the transition to this paragraph, giving now new information (in the narrator’s voice, not the survivors’) is a little unclear. Perhaps emending ‘her’ to ‘Elwing’ would improve it a little:
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VE-11 But Ulmo bore {her}Elwing up and he gave unto her the likeness of a great white bird, and upon her breast there shone as a star the shining Silmaril,
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VE-11.025: I think the word ‘like’ was accidentally left out of the deletion brackets. It should be:
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VE-11.025 <Letter no. 211 The infants were not slain, but left {like 'babes in the wood',} in a cave with a fall of water over the entrance.
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Another small thing:
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Maybe it was due in part to the puissance of that holy jewel that they came in time to the waters that as yet no vessels save those of the Teleri had known; and they came to the Enchanted Isles and thus they escaped their enchantment.
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I don’t think we really need the editorial addition here. It seems clear from the preceding clause that it was by reason of the power of the Silmaril that they escaped the enchantments. Moreover, unless some editorial marks are missing, doesn’t this sentence all come from the same source? I think some mark must be missing, because the base text for this chapter should be QS37, but unless I’m much mistaken, that’s not where the beginning of this sentence comes from. (I admit it’s a little bewildering to try to follow what text comes from what source in this chapter.)
VE-11.02: After the insertion concerning the sleeper in the Tower of Pearl we have:
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}And Eärendil and his companions came into the Shadowy Seas and passed their shadows
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This is a bit of a non sequitur since we have just told of the sleeper’s warning to them. At least we should change the ‘and’ to ‘but’:
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}But Eärendil and his companions came into the Shadowy Seas and passed their shadows
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VE-11.04: Another [Finarfin] misspelling.
VE-13.02: ‘Galion’ should be changed to ‘Galdor’.
VE-15: A typo here; the period after ‘even’ should be removed:
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were they withheld, even. against the victorious host of Valinor
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VE-19: I think we should probably remove the reference to the ‘land of Leithien’ here. It seems to be a remnant of the Lost Tales idea that Great Britain (Leithien) was a remnant of Beleriand.
VE-21: The text has:
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u]A[/u] <BT rumour{ of his words} was whispered among {all }the {Elves}[Men] of the West>, thus{Thus} spake Mandos in prophecy, when the {Gods}[Valar] sat in judgement in Valinor{, and the rumour of his words was whispered among all the Elves of the West}.
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I think the word ‘that’ is missing:
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A <BT rumour {of his words} was whispered among the {Elves}[Men] of the West>, that thus spake Mandos in prophecy, when the {Gods}[Valar] sat in judgement in Valinor {, and the rumour of his words was whispered among all the Elves of the West}.
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