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Old 06-04-2004, 12:45 PM   #56
Maédhros
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Findegil:
In VE-11
Quote:
Then the host of the Valar prepared for battle, and the captain of their host was Eönwë to whom Manwë gave his sword. Beneath his white banner marched also the Vanyar, the Fair-elves, the people of Ingwë <BT, just moved a half-sentence, and Ingwion his son {of Ingwë} was their chief.>{; and among} Among them were also those of the Noldor of old who had never departed from Valinor, and [Finrafin] son of Finwë was their chief. But remembering the slaying at the Swan-haven and the rape of their ships, few of the Teleri were willing to go forth to war; but Elwing went among them, and because she was fair and gentle, and was come also upon her father's side from Thingol who was of their own kindred, they harkened to her; and they sent mariners sufficient to man and steer the ships upon which most of that army was borne east oversea; but they stayed aboard their ships and none ever set foot upon the shores of the Hither Lands.
Why is it necessary to move that sentence up.

In [b]VE-13.01[b]
Quote:
Of the Great Battle and the War of Wrath
Of the march of the host of Eönwë to the North little is said in any tale; for in his armies went none of those Elves who had dwelt and suffered in the Hither Lands, and who made the histories of those days that still are known; and tidings of these things they learned long afterward from their kinsfolk, the Light-elves in Valinor.<AB2 {Here the} The host of [Eönwë] was seen shining upon the sea afar, and the noise of his trumpets rang over the waves and echoed in the western woods. Thereafter was fought the battle of [Eglarest], where [Ingwion] son of Ingwë, prince of all the Elves, made a landing, and drove the Orcs from the shore.> But at the last Eönwë came up out of the West, and the challenge of his trumpets filled the sky; and he summoned unto him all Elves and Men from Hithlum unto the East; and Beleriand was ablaze with the glory of{ his} arms, for the host of the {Gods}[Valar] were arrayed in forms of Valinor, and the mountains rang beneath their feet.
The meeting of the hosts of the West and of the North is named the Great Battle, the Battle Terrible, and the War of Wrath.{ There was marshalled the whole power of the Throne of Morgoth, and it had become great beyond count, so that Dor-na-Fauglith could not contain it, and all the North was aflame with war. But it availed not. The Balrogs were destroyed, save some few that fled and hid themselves in caverns inaccessible at the roots of the earth. The uncounted legions of the Orcs perished like straw in a great fire, or were swept like shrivelled leaves before a burning wind. Few remained to trouble the world for long years after.} And it is said that all that were left of the three Houses of the Elf-friends, Fathers of Men, fought for Eönwë; and they were avenged upon the Orcs in those days for Baragund and Barahir, Galion and Gundor, Huor and Húrin, and many others of their lords; <QII and to them were joined some of the Men of Hithlum who repenting of their evil servitude did deeds of valour against the Orcs;> and so were fulfilled in part the words of Ulmo, for by [Eärendil] son of Tuor help was brought unto the Elves, and by the swords of Men they were strengthened on the fields of war. But a great part of the sons of Men, whether of the people of Uldor or others newcome out of the East, marched with the Enemy; and the Elves do not forget it.<AB2 Great war came now into Beleriand, and [Eönwë] drove the Orcs and Balrogs before him; and he camped beside Sirion, and his tents were as snow upon the field>. <FG {Did not even after the days of Tuor} Noldorin and his Eldar {come}[came to Nan-Tathren]{there seeking for Dor Lomin and the hidden river and the caverns of the Gnomes'-imprisonment; yet thus nigh to their quest's end}and were like to abandon {it?}[their march.] Indeed sleeping and dancing {here}there, and making fair music of river sounds and the murmur of grass, and weaving rich fabrics of gossamer and the feathers of winged insects, they were whelmed by the goblins sped by [Morgoth] from the [Ironhills] and Noldorin made bare escape thence.><E&Æ The Army of Tulkas /camped /at the Pools of Twilight, the><FG great heaths and morasses above the Land of Willows, {and Voronwe knew not those regions. Now here}[where] goes Sirion a very great way under earth, diving at the great cavern of the Tumultuous Winds, but running clear again above the {Pools of Twilight}[Lands of Willows], even {where}there Tulkas'{ after} fought with {Melko's self}[Morgoth’s Balrogs].><AB2 [Eönwë] crossed Sirion and the hosts of Morgoth were driven as leaves, and the Balrogs were utterly destroyed><BT, save some few that fled and hid themselves in caverns inaccessible at the roots of the earth>,< AB1 and Morgoth[‘s army] fled to Angband pursued by the hosts of [Eönwë].><BT There was marshalled the whole power of the Throne of Morgoth, and it had become great beyond count, so that Dor-na-Fauglith could not contain it, and all the North was aflame with war. But it availed not.{…} The uncounted legions of the Orcs perished like straw in a great fire, or were swept like shrivelled leaves before a burning wind. Few remained to trouble the world for long years after.>
Then, seeing that his hosts were overthrown …
I have to agree with Aiwendil about the addition of both Noldorin and Tulkas in here. Mostly I would agree with the first addition from AB2, and the first addition from QII. I'm not sure about the second AB2 addition though. The FG is a nono to me too.
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