[Palando]

The world swam like a thick soup; images dancing from place to place without form or substance. Halasan tried to remember where he was or what had happened to him. But it was beyond recall. Flickering memories played with him and the only sound he could hear was a gradually slowing thump…thump that brought renewed light and visions in his world of vagueness.

Thump… He was running through the woods of mirkwood following a feisty young deer. It was to have been his first kill to show his ever demanding father. But he had been too hasty for the kill and startled it. He had run for hours, even after loosing sight of his prey, ever hopeful that he would turn a corner and find it waiting for him.

Thump… Golden light played off her soft hair as they sat in the meadow and stared lovingly into each others eyes. In all his young life Halasan had never seen such a beauty. Gwen had walked into his world and nothing had been the same since. They held hands and for a moment the air around them froze, like magic. The moment passed and. circling his arms around her they lay down in the heather; lips meeting, inexperienced hands searching…

Thump… The air was pierced with a scream. Sweat glistened on Gwen’s brow as she prepared for another push. Halasan gripped her hand tightly and whispered words of encouragement while her mother peered between Gwen’s legs. “The head is out.” She said in well practiced tones. “Take a breath dear, and then we’ll get this stubborn little thing out for you. Halasan tried to have a look, but Gwen’s hand clamped him down in place. Gwen screamed again, one long scream that seemed to last for hours. Out side his sons waited anxiously, crowded around the doorway. Suddenly a new scream replaced Gwen’s. Higher, and weaker. “It’s a girl.” Her mother shouted out. Tears falling from her reddened eyes. Halasan began to cry with joy while Gwen held the child and wrapped it in a towel close to her chest. She looked up at her husband with a pale but joyous smile that melted his heart.

Thump… Halasan sat and watched his children play out in the field. Next to him his wife sat and watched. He turned to talk to her but could not remember her name. Suddenly his children were all standing around him, their eyes fixed on his. Their mouths opened. Flames erupted from their mouths engulfing them both. The pain washed over him again and again and he watched in horror as his flesh shrivelled and fell away. “Why? Creid a voice beside him. Gwen was now wreathed in flame, blood washed over her face…

Thump… He rode over the hillock, ahead was a small farm on fire . Four figures walked towards him on engulfed in flame. Their screams echoing around him.

Thump… He lay atop a boat, staring at the stars. Heat washed over him and he sat up. Around him stood Azariah, Ellena, Tunar, Haleg, Catrina, and Kiatus. They were covered in blood. As one they began to scream.

Thump… He rode into the farm, drenched in blood. Thump… He lunged out with his sword, burying it to the hilt in Catrina’s belly, but she only laughed. Thump… Gwen lay on the bed, screaming as he lunged his sword into her. Thump-…Thump… Thump…

Catrina began to tremble. The cloying stench of gore and death choking her as she sobbed. Suddenly Halasan began to convulse. She looked down at him. His eyes opened wide, staring blindly at some distant place. “Father” she called out, her voice thick with anguish. He whispered something that she could not hear. She moved so that her ear was by his mouth while her hand stroked his hair. “S… Sorry” he whispered, and then, with a slow sigh, he went limp in her arms. His glazed, lifeless eyes fixed at some distant place beyond her reach.

“Father… no!” Closing her eyes she cried in silence.

After a while a voice, heavy with sadness, called out to her. “He loved you lass.” The voice said. “No matter what happened. No matter what he did, remember that.”
For a moment she ignored the voice.
“Revenge is a terrible thing. It eats at you, feeding on your soul. Believe me, I know!”
Catrina looked round. The Giant warrior was now sitting up, his face pale from blood loss but still very much alive. He looked upon Halasan with an unwavering stare. “The lust for revenge made him forget who he was for a while.” A cough erupted from his mouth forcing Haleg to stop and check. No sign of bright blood. “But I would hear him at night, when he was dreaming. I think he loved you above all his other children, which was why he was harder on you, to ensure that he was not unfair on the others. He said to me once that you, above all the others looked the most like your mother…”

Catrina digested his words, and thought back to all the times they had argued in the past. With wiser eyes she could see the truth in his words. Never had he raised a hand to her. He was protecting her out of love, but had made the easy mistake of letting that protection lead to repression.

They let the silence grow again until the guard arrived and ushered them both away to the house of healing on an unending wave of questions.

[ October 23, 2003: Message edited by: Palando ]