Thread: ATM II RPG
View Single Post
Old 11-29-2006, 03:21 AM   #280
Hookbill the Goomba
Alive without breath
 
Hookbill the Goomba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
The Main entrance to Mount Doom Palace and Casino was located at the foot of Sauron's Road and was fortunately still there after all the zooming about the mountain had been doing. It was twenty foot tall, painted orange, decorated with sequins (most of which had fallen off now) and made of solid steel. Smilog pushed it open and wandered in to that accursed mountain. In the entrance foyer, he saw a long table with a mini palantir, hundreds of papers and a large assortment of quills. Behind this table sat an old fat orc woman with purple lipstick poorly applied to her massive face.

"Hello" ventured Smilog, "... Miss?"

"It's Mrs!" replied the creature, grunting like a pig that has just been kicked in the stomach and then faced into a small box. Interestingly enough, Smilog had once done this and so knew exactly what it sounded like. "You're Smilog the Dwarf?" she said at last, he nodded. "Well, there is a package for you over there. It's been here for a while."

Smilog wandered across the absolutely ruined room, cups, saucers and dust coated the floor, bits of the ceiling were everywhere but on the ceiling. There in the corner of the room was a huge shape, not really a package, more a skip. The Dwarf cocked his head on one side and examined the shape. From inside came the quiet sound of weeping and someone blowing their nose. Smilog took hold of a small chair that was still standing to his left and used it to stand on, he looked into the skip and saw a quite unexpected sight.

"Father?" he said, filled with puzzlement, "You told me you were dead."

"Oh, not dead," said the old dwarf, covered in warts and filth, "just sad. So very sad."

"Yes," observed Smilog, "that's quite a fundamental difference isn't it? You know, being dead isn't quite the same as being a bit sad, isn't it?" The old dwarf blew his nose into his beard. "Look, what are you doing in that skip? And where are your trousers?"

***

The stairs went deep. Too deep, Tollin thought. They had been walking for about an hour now and had not come anywhere near the end of this staircase. The Barrow Wight let a corpse light shine from his withered hand (He never explained how he did this) as the tunnel was exceedingly dark. Step after step took them down further and further. Tollin was sure they were not in The Mountain anymore.

Finally, they fell to the ground as the stairs came to a sudden stop. To their left, Tollin spotted a small torch attached to the wall, The Barrow Wight handed him a tinder box. The tiny blaze seemed to light up the a good section of the room. The red glow revealed an endless hall, stretching off into the distance, left, right and forwards. Endless stacks of clothes on pegs were hung all about the place, going on into infinity and filling the air with the smell of cheap washing up powder.

"Gosh," said The Barrow Wight, "This must be Sauron's wardrobe. I thought it was just a legend... Well, less a legend, more a joke." Tollin examined the nearest stack and saw that it was full of cheesy T-Shirts with phrases like 'Eye am the greatest' and 'Eye see you' written on.

"Ah!" said a voice from deep in the room, "but can you escape the wardrobe of Sauron alive?"

"Yes." said Tollin, "the stairs are just behind us." There was a long pause and only the slight sound of dripping water could be heard far off in the distance like a ticking clock gone wrong.

"Shut up!" it said at last, "We shall see how smart you are when you meet... The watcher in the washer!" All of a sudden, a thousand snake-like tentacles flew out of the piles of clothes all around. They were all guided by some one force and made their swift way towards the odd duo.
Hookbill the Goomba is offline