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Old 08-09-2005, 03:10 PM   #275
Kuruharan
Regal Dwarven Shade
 
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,574
Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots A tale told by an idiot.

Chrysophylax stooped over the shattered cranium of Flourdrum. “Alas, poor Dumpling! I was once vaguely acquainted with him, Kuruharan: a fellow of infinite jest, of most depraved fancy. He hath inserted a whoopee cushion under my buns a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! my bottom trembles at it. Here hung those lips that sneered at me I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your water balloons? Your taunts? Your whoopee cushions, that were wont to set the back end on fire? Here I am now to mock your own grinning!!!” Chrysophylax crushed the remains of the head.

Chrysophylax strolled over to the body of Ancalorgas the Black. “This was the scariest dragon of them all: All the dragons save only he did that they did in miserably low self-esteem. He only, in a general vicious thought and common ill to all, made one of them. His life was brutal, and the elements so mix’d in him that Nature might stand up and say to all the world ‘WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!!’ But I come to bury Ancalorgas, not to praise him!” Chrysophylax jumped up and down on the corpse.

Chrysophylax walked over to the next body. “Ahh, dear old Smug the Complacent. Many the time he would natter on incessantly about the improvement of my character. He would ramble on about how I should give my thoughts no tongue. I should be familiar, but by no means vulgar. What friends I hast, and their adoption tried, I should grapple them to the ground with hoops of steel and eat them when they weren’t looking. I should give no dragon my ear, but shout at the top of my voice. I should also take no dragon’s censure, but be hasty in judgment. Not a borrower but a lender (at interest) be; for loans at reasonable rates are excellent ways to send money chasing after more money. And this above all: to my ownself be true! What a windbag he was!” Chrysophylax kicked the body over a nearby cliff.

“Here is Scathing the Critical. He was never happy with my name. He said I was a disgrace to dragonhood and wanted me to take a new one. He was always shouting, “Get thee to a punnery!!” Chrysophylax set the body on fire.

Chrysophylax stood over the last body. “Is he dead? Never could tell with ole’ Argon the Inert. Good night stinky dragon and flights of imps screech thee to thy rest!” Chrysophylax started munching.

“Why does the drum come hither?”

“Because the battle is still going on while you’ve been soliloquizing you idiot!!!” yelled Kuruharan. “Go, bid the soldiers shoot…or do SOMETHING useful!!!”

The fighting continues and a peal of ordnance is shot off

Last edited by Kuruharan; 08-10-2005 at 01:30 PM.
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