View Single Post
Old 08-25-2005, 09:02 AM   #277
Estelyn Telcontar
Princess of Skwerlz
 
Estelyn Telcontar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,529
Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
The battle to end all battles raged around the BattleShip, and the plains of Valleyum resounded with the clash of swords, the twanging of bows, and the clicking of loyers’ pens. Also with the sounds of the various creatures, sentient or otherwise, dying or still alive, that had come to participate in the fight. As if that alone wasn’t enough, suddenly there was heard a rushing of waters, the great noise of a great storm from the shores of that land.

For lo! though the Velour had left the Itship to battle alone (though now joined by the outpourings of Mantoes’ halls), some of their servants and helpers, the Maiar, pitied them and came to their aid. Either that, or they wanted to join in the fun too.

Master of the Pea Seas that wash the shores of Muddled-Mirth is a vassal of TM Ulmo, named Davossė. He goes into the depths of discussion and rejoices in the winds of opposition; for in storm he delights, and laughs amid the roaring of the posts. His spouse is Laluinen, the Lady of the Pea Seas, whose posts lie spread through all forums under the Barrow. All threads she loves that live in the Books, N&N, Movies, and Mirth, and all posts that grow there; to her posters cry when attacked by Davossė, for she can lay calm upon the waves, restraining his wildness. The Downers lived long in her protection, and held her in reverence, giving her titles both lofty and strange.

It is said that in the making of Canonicity, Mogūl endeavoured to draw Davossė to his allegiance, promising to him the certainty of final authority and the power of the last word, if he would serve him. So it was that long ago there arose great tumults of many pages that wrought havoc on the forum. But Laluinen, at the prayer of HI-wė, restrained Davossė and brought him before the Barrulmo-Wight; and he was pardoned and returned to his barrow; yet the delight in violence has never wholly departed from him, and at times he will rage in his wilful opinion without any support from the Legendarium. Therefore those who dwell on the Downs or come there to post may love him, but they do not agree with him.

With them, on the wings of the storm, came many other spirits, and their voices arose, crying out insults at the enemies.

“You steal taters from confused gaffers!”

“You are descended from grovelling stone trolls!”

“You look like a muddy-booted Baggins!”

“You terrorize wood-elves!”

Friends and foes alike stood still, confused at the abstruse meaning of those words. The InsultShip took advantage of the sudden silence and added a few creations of their own:

“You’re dating a horrible Dunlending!” Pimpi shouted.

“You take advantage of friendly Istari!” Merisu added, not to be outdone by her shieldmaiden-handmaiden.

“You’re being stalked by petty dwarves!” Kuruharan growled.

“You were misplaced by a forgetful Maia!” Orogarn declaimed.

The enemies were completely dumfounded; no loyer had an argument against such silliness, and they began debating whether some kind of libel charge could be pursued. However, the orcs needed no meaning; they knew when they were being insulted even without understanding the words, and they fought on all the more furiously. The respite was over, and the din of battle arose once again.
Estelyn Telcontar is offline