View Single Post
Old 11-05-2017, 10:22 AM   #51
Shade of Carn Dm
ArcusCalion's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 448
ArcusCalion has just left Hobbiton.
hmmm this looks fine to me. I have a few grammatical and other minor suggestions:
BoT-13.7 <LT {Rather}[Now] was it {his}[the] counsel [of some of the Valar] that each of the {Valar}[them] should now depart and dwell amid those things that {he}[they] loved upon Earth, nor should any seek to extend {his}[their] sway beyond its just boundaries. In this there was some covert reflection upon Manw and Ulmo, but of the {Gods}[Valar] some took {his}[these] words{ in faith} and would use {his}[this] advice, but others {distrusted}[dissented]; and in the midst of their debate Ulmo arose and went to the Outermost Seas that were set beyond the {Outer Lands}[Middle-earth]. He loved not high words nor concourse of folk, and in those deep waters moveless and empty he purposed to dwell, leaving the governance of the Great and lesser seas to Oss and {Onen}[Uinen] his vassals. Yet ever of his {magic}[power] deep in his outermost sea-halls of Ulmonan he controlled the faint stirrings of the {Shadowy} Seas, and ruled the lakes and springs and rivers of the world.>
I changed Outer Lands to Middle-earth, since the term Outer Lands is never used in later writings, and the Middle-earth is what is meant by it. I also removed the Shadowy from Shadowy Seas, but this is because I am unsure if the Shadowy Seas are meant to refer to the seas outside of Aman or if it is a general term for everything.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 11-05-2017 at 12:14 PM.
ArcusCalion is offline   Reply With Quote