[The Barrow-Wight]

Orogarn Two strode forward and violently shook the curious Salad Bowl, scattering leafy greens in a maelstrom of fluttering roughage and sending a shower of bacon bits over the overpriced footwear of the maidens gathered about it. Without apology or warning, he vaulted high into the air and dove head first over the wooden rim of the vegetation-filled saucer, where he convulsed face-deep in the elvish guacamole.

Embedded in the mysterious melange, Orogarn Two soon lost adequate oxygen flow to his brain and slipped into unconciousness. Darkness wrapped itself about him as he slipped away, but after a while, the blackness lessened a bit and he found himself surrounded by a host of dim sparkling lights, each inexplicably shaped in the glowing likeness of his loquacious step-mother, Iodeth. The multiple specters of his father’s fourth spouse floated before him in an eerie dance, and a ghostly voice that he recognized as his own began to speak to itself.

Orogarn Two: “Lost. The wallet is lost.”

Orogarn Too: “Stolen. Stolen by the nasty trees.”

Two: “No, not the trees. The trees are our friends.”

Too: “You don’t have any friends. Nobody likes you.”

Two: “Not listening. The wallet is lost”

Too: “Stolen! And you are listening!”

Two: “Am not.”

Too: “Nobody likes you, you know.”

Two: “Merisuwyniel likes me.”

Too: “Tricksy half-elf. She’s a friend of the trees and can’t be trusted.”

Two: “Pimpiowyn is nice to me.”

Too: “Little quarterling thinks you have food.”

Two: “Kuruharan?”

Too: “You’re just an easy mark.”

Two: “Earnur? Halfullion?

Too: “I told you! You don’t have any friends.”

Two: “Yes, I think you are right. The trees betrayed us, and the half-elf carries the lving tree.”

Too: “I told you they was false. They is all false.”

Two: “Yes. They are false and betrayed us.”

Too: “Yes! We must punish them.”

Two: “No. No. It’s too risky.”

Too: “We could let him do it.”

Two: “Yes, he could do it.”

Orogarn Two

Orogarn Two, come back to us.

The Lord of Grundor’s body shook again with a tremor so great that the gathered companions jumped back in dismay. His long figure twisted savagely and ejected itself so forcefully from the Salad Bowl that he landed many feet from it in tumbled a heap.

“What did you see?” asked Vogonwë, rushing forward to help him up.

“Nothing,” answered Orogarn Two. “The Salad is wilted.”