[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

...or 'The only thing that ever happened in Khand.'


Not every place in Middle-earth was the scene of some tumultuous battle. There were actually many quiet, relatively-trouble free areas, and Khand was certainly one of them. Boasting large green fields and a few pleasant rivers, it was quite surprising that so few people lived there. Perhaps it was because Khand had a reputation for being dull. It was (and still is) a common saying in Middle-earth when you are offered something unexciting; "Aye, settle doon. It's Khand."

But maybe not. Perhaps it was the ever-present threat of Mordor which loomed rather too close for comfort. However, Mordor was not particularly strong at this point. Gangamel, an Uruk who marshalled the troops, had pulled all his forces together to defend the pass at Minas Morgul. This was in preparation for the expected assault led by the Elves, Eagles and Ents of Elrond Halfelven. Elrond was currently using Khand as a station for his remaining people.

The rest of Middle-earth was being dominated by a bewilderingly large army marshalled by Gorgomoth, the rebel Uruk and Lord of Moria. Not since the heyday of Morgoth had Middle-earth been under such threat. Finally the war between Elrond and Gangamel kicked off and nearly all the forces of Elrond were slaughtered in Minas Morgul. Gangamel was victorious, if you can call it that, because he now had barely any defence whatsoever. A comical example of this is when he pulled his troops back from the Shire to help Mordor, leaving only three Orcs to fight a huge Red Army away in the North.

So Khand remained the only place for the fair folk of Middle-earth to dwell in, and that would only be for a matter of weeks, as Gorgomoth was determined. Elrond was defeated (or so he believed) so he did what he thought was best; he organised the most dynamic party he could. Now, let's not pretend that this was the greatest party ever. Middle-earth had seen many grander occasions than this. However, it was still a very excellent attempt at a great party, considering the time constraints they were under and the impending death which faced them. The people had a great time. Bands such as The Flaming Lips and Yeah Yeah Yeahs rocked Middle-earth to its very core, and there were even appearances by Terry Wogan, Rolf Harris and Roberto Carlos da Silva for the Elves to appreciate. The importance of the party cannot be ignored. This was a single solid gesture of defiance to evil. It was a celebration of goodness at the very door of wickedness. As Andrew WK might say; "You can't kill the party, long live the party!"

Still, the end of the fun neared, and with many Elves sleeping or under the influence of some foreign weed (supplied by Wayne Coyne, who had been visiting the Hobbits) the Wargs finally appeared. Now, these were true Wargs. Let us not forget that evil Wargs were still fighting for Gorgomoth. Alas! such is the way of the Warg. The Elves were surprised to see the Wargs, probably believing that they had all been killed or seduced by evil. Yet the Wargs had survived, and now they would save the Elves. They brought them over the Sea and into the West, and while doing so they counselled the Valar and suggested that Middle-earth needed salvation.

What happened next is a tale in itself (though admittedly nowhere near the epic standard of the War of Wrath). The symbolic significance of the Party in Khand however, carries a strong message of defiance and rejection in the face of despair.