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Old 06-24-2018, 04:13 PM   #2
Findegil
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AN-SL-01: I think we should place this differently. I agree that it should be told here as a kind expansion of the Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel but especially if we follow with the earlier movement of Celeborn and Galadriel it seems out of place and loses its connection to the flight of Nimrodel. Therefore I would start the chapter with AN-SL-02 and place An-SL-01 thus:
Quote:
AN-SL-08{Though Sindarin in descent he lived after the manner of the Silvan Elves and housed in the tall trees of a great green mound, ever after called Cerin Amroth. This he did because of his love for Nimrodel.} For long years he had loved {her}Nimrodel, and taken no wife, since she would not wed with him. She loved him indeed, for he was beautiful even for one of the Eldar, and valiant and wise; but she was of the Silvan Elves, and regretted the incoming of the Elves from the West, who (as she said) brought wars and destroyed the peace of old. She would speak only the Silvan tongue, even after it had fallen into disuse among the folk of Lórien; and she dwelt alone beside the falls of the river Nimrodel to which she gave her name.>

AN-SL-01<Appendix A After the end of the First Age the power and wealth of Khazad-dûm was much increased; for it was enriched by many people and much lore and craft when the ancient cities of Nogrod and Belegost in the Blue Mountains were ruined at the breaking of Thangorodrim. The power of Moria endured throughout the Dark Years and the dominion of Sauron, for though Eregion was destroyed and the gates of Moria were shut, the halls of Khazad-dûm were too deep and strong and filled with a people too numerous and valiant for Sauron to conquer from without. Thus its wealth remained long unravished, though its people began to dwindle.
It came to pass that in the middle of the Third Age Durin was again its king, being the sixth of that name. The power of Sauron, servant of Morgoth, was then again growing in the world, though the Shadow in the Forest that looked towards Moria was not yet known for what it was. All evil things were stirring. The Dwarves delved deep at that time, seeking beneath Barazinbar for mithril, the metal beyond price that was becoming yearly ever harder to win. Thus they roused from sleep [Footnote to the text: Or released from prison; it may well be that it had already been awakened by the malice of Sauron.] a thing of terror that, flying from Thangorodrim, had lain hidden at the foundations of the earth since the coming of the Host of the West: a Balrog of Morgoth. Durin was slain by it, and the year after Náin I, his son; and then the glory of Moria passed, and its people were destroyed or fled far away.
Most of these that escaped made their way into the North, and Thráin I, Náin's son, came to Erebor, the Lonely Mountain, near the eastern eaves of Mirkwood, and there he began new works, and became King under the Mountain. In Erebor he found the great jewel, the Arkenstone, Heart of the Mountain.>

AN-SL-08.5<GC Am. {But when}When the terror came out of Moria and the Dwarves were driven out, and in their stead Orcs crept in, {she}Nimrodel fled distraught alone south into empty lands. Amroth followed her, and at last he found her under the eaves of Fangorn, which in those days drew much nearer to Lórien. She dared not enter the wood, for the trees, she said, menaced her, and some moved to bar her way.
AN-SL-08.6 to AN-SL-08.8: Did you leave out the story of Nimrodel rest at the fall of the Gilrain out by some reason or was it just forgotten? I would edit it thus:
Quote:
… Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is said here, though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-08.6<GC Am. When Nimrodel fled from Lórien it is said that seeking for the sea she became lost in the White Mountains, until at last (by what road or pass is not told) she came to a river that reminded her of her own stream in Lórien.> AN-SL-08.7<GC Am. The Gilrain came swiftly down from the mountains as did the other rivers of that region; but as it reached the end of the outlier of Ered Nimrais that separated it from the Celos{ [see the map accompanying Volume III of The Lord of the Rings]} it ran into a wide shallow depression. In this it wandered for a while, and formed a small mere at the southern end before it cut through a ridge and went on swiftly again to join the Serni.> AN-SL-08.8<GC Am.{Her}Nimrodel’s heart was lightened, and she sat by {a}the mere, seeing the stars reflected in its dim waters, and listening to the waterfalls by which the river went again on its journey down to the sea. There she fell into a deep sleep of weariness and so long she slept that she did not come down into Belfalas until Amroth's ship had been blown out to sea, and he was lost trying to swim back to Belfalas. This legend was well known in the Dor-en-Ernil (the Land of the Prince), and no doubt the name was given in memory of it.>
AN-SL-09<GC Am. In the tradition of his house Angelimir …
FY-HL-09: This headline it self is okay, and fits well to the content that follwos, but niether the headline nor the content fit into the chapter The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel. The Galadriel stuff and even the telling about the Elven-Rings and what and where their bearers worked are okay under that title. But what conection is their between The Stewards and The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel?
When it is fitting I would shift it to the next chapter The Ride of Eorl, as that tells about the connection between Gondor and the Eotheod and that was build-up by the Stewards, it seems better to explain first in that chapter how their rule came about.
About the second title we should discuss when we reach it.

AN-SL-21: Here I have agian additions from The Heirs of Elendil:
Quote:
AN-SL-21<Appendix A The House of the Stewards was called the House of Húrin, for they were descendants of the Steward of King Minardil (1621-34), Húrin of Emyn Arnen, a man of high Númenorean race. After his day the kings had always chosen their stewards from among his descendants; and after the days of Pelendur AN-SL-21.2<HoE , Steward to King Ondohir,> the Stewardship became hereditary as a kingship, from father to son or nearest kin. AN-SL-21.4<HoE{if}If a Steward left no son, the office might pass in the female line, that is to his sister-son, or to his father's sister-son.
The choice was made according to their worth among the near kin by the Council of Gondor. But the Council had no power of choice if there was a son living.
The Stewards belonged to a family of the ancient Elf-friends AN-SL-21.6<HoE though the Hurinionath were not in the direct line of descent from Elendil, they were ultimately of royal origin, and had in any case kept their blood more pure than most other families in the later ages.> {who}They used (beside the Common Speech) the {Noldorin}[Sindarin] tongue after the fashion of Gondor.[Footnote to the text: Since this had long ceased to be a 'cradle-tongue' in Gondor, but was learned in early youth (by those claiming Numenorean descent) from loremasters, and used by them as a mark of rank, it had changed very little since the Downfall; and though the Men of Gondor altered a little some of the sounds, they could still understand the Eldar and be understood by them. In the later days, however, they saw them seldom.] Their official names (after Mardil) were in that tongue and drawn mostly from the ancient legends of the Noldor and their dealings with the Edain.>
Each new Steward indeed took office with the oath …
AN-SL-30: I agree to the need of this addition, but I don’t think it is sufficient. I would add ’Chieftain of the Dúnedain of the North,’.

Respectfully
Findegil
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