1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
(Oh, wait, you said it had to CHANGE the character of the chapter, right? P. sure this is an accurate retelling of the final days of Numenor.
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