This was a very nice draft, and I have very few comments. Everything to which I do not respond, I agree to.
FoN-LQ-02: It should be Calacirya, as per LotR.
FoN-EX-02: I would leave him in, with the change you made. He is an important figure, even if less than the others.
FoN-EX-05: I do not agree with your logic there. If there was fighting she could easily have fought against Feanor and been left on the shore to march with the others. I see no compelling reason to include such a drastic editorial addition.
FoN-LQ-04: Agreed, but it should be Helcaraxë, both here and subsequently.
FoN-EX-11: This is the perfect place for this
FoN-EX-18: This is good, but the insertion is awkward, as it refers tomany dying and then says "indeed ..." but as Galadriel did not die, this is incorrect. I would start the insertion at "Galadriel" and prefix it to the following sentence, like so:
Quote:
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slain upon either side. FoN-EX-18 <UT {, indeed she}Galadriel {with Celeborn }fought heroically in defense of Alqualondë against the assault of the Noldor {.}> FoN-EX-19 <LT {they}, but the Noldor slew {them}the Teleri bitterly .....
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FoN-EX-20: If it is Arakano that is to be used (which is a risky change imo) it should be given as Argon, not Arakano, as all the Noldorin princes' names are given in Sindarin form.
Everything else, I agree with, but the text has "Endar" for "Endor" and should be changed.