[Diamond18]

Glossary of Goofisms
Please PM me about any errors and/or omissions. No really, I’m begging you to.

Note: In Ye Olde RPG, many parody names were used more or less interchangeably with the real names. Make of that what you will.

Places:

Anduin = Watschaduin (also see The Great River)
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Angband = Slangbad
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Barad-dûr = Barát-Höm
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Barrow-Downs = Marrow-Bones
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Beleriand = Dairyland
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Bridge of Khazad-dûm = Escalator of Ka Boom!
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Caradhras = Canthardlee
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Caras Galadon = Careless Gardenhon
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The Citadel = The Citibank
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Dale = Chippendale
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Dimrill Dale = Dimwit Dale
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Dol Amroth = Dol Amistel
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Dol Guldur = Gol Dulldor
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Dor Lómin = Dun Sóbrin
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Dor Winion = Dor Sumyewinion
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Druadan Forest = Pukestain Forest
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Edoras = Improvas
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Emyn Muil = Eminem Mule
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Ephel Dúath = Ephel Dûwot
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Ered Lithui = Ered Legthargi
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Erebor = Trebor
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Ford of Bruinen = Ford of Buicken
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Gap of Rohan = Rohan Interstate, the GAP of Rohan
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Golden Hall of Meduseld = Goldlamé Hall
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Gondolin = Grindulin, Round-and-In, Valvoline
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Gondor = Gondola, Grundor
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The Great River = The Pretty-Good River (also see Anduin)
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Greenwood the Great = Greenwood the Untreated Lumber Yard
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Harad = Harried, Hardhead, Hardup
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Houses of Healing = Houses of Bettifordeth
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Ithilien = Ethyline
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Isengard = Networkgard (also see Ring of)
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Khand = Khant
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Land of Shadows = Land of Shadowy Deals
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The Last Homely House = The Last Home Grown Cows, the Elven Farm, Hidden Valley Ranch, the Farm of Roneld
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Lebennin = Listerine
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Lothlorien = Topfloorien
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The Mark = The Mike
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Middle-earth = Muddled-berth, Muddle-mud, Muddled-Mirth
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The Mines of Moria = The Subway, Lindon Underground
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Minas Morgul = Minus Moreghoul
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Minas Tirith = Minus Teeth
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Mirkwood = Workmud the Okay-I-Guess
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Mordor = Moredough
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Mount Doom = Mount Moody (also see Orodruin)
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Nargothrond = Nogarter-on
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Númenor = Noodleor
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Orodruin = Odouruin (also see Mount Doom)
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Orthanc = Dorktank
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Osgiliath = Ozfestiath
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Parth Galen = Park Galore
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Ring of Isengard = Token-ring of Networkgard
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Rohan = Rofoo, Soreham
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Rhudaur = Rudehour
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The Shire = The Mire
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Sundering Sea = Sunderland Sea
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Tol Brandir = Toll Brandy
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Valinor = Valium, Valleyum, Place Beyond the Great Rift and the Bent Seas which no one can get to but where everyone wants to go.
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The White City = The Wight City
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Characters and Creatures:

Amras = Rumpus
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Amrod = Ramrod
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Annatar, Lord of Gifts = Avatar, Lord of .Gifs
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Aragorn II = Orogarn Two
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Argonath = Astronauts
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Balrog = Porterorg, Balfrog
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Beren One-hand = Benny Clammyhand
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Bilbo Baggins = Bilbo S. Thompson
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Black squirrels = Black skwerlz
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Calaquendi = Doolalliquendi
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Caranthir = Currentbun
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Celeborn = Celery
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Celegorm = Celegormless
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Crebain from Dunland = Kiwi-banes from Down-Under
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Curufin = Curedham
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Dúnedain = Dumb-admen
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Durin’s Bane = Kuruharan’s Pain
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Denothor = Denimthor
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Eärendil the Mariner = Eärandnau the Marinade
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Easterlings = Beasterlings
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Ecthelion = Etceteron
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Edain = Fodderain
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Elrond Half-elven = Roneld McDoneld
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Elros Tar-Minyatur = Elros Car-Minicooper
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Elwë Sincollo = Avmë Lastrolo
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Elu Thingol = Ereyu Thingy
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Éowyn = Éowhine
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Eru = Emu
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Fëanor = Feeblenor
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Felaróf = Fellofftheroof
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The Fellowship = The Fellow/Galship, the Itship, the Multiple Choice Questors, the Gallowship, the Whatevership, the Gorilla-ship, the Ow-ship, Gal-N-Fellowship, Politically-Semi-Correct-ship, His-and-Hers-Ship, Non-Gender-Specific-Ship, He-She-and-It-Ship, This-and-That-Ship, Whatchacallitship, Uniship
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Finrod = Pinrod
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Galadriel = Saladriel
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Gandalf the Grey = Dandruff the Fey
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Glorfindel = Gloryfinder
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Gothmog = Greedhog
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Greenleaf = Brownbark
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Gríma Wormtongue = Grimy Hasbéen
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Grishnákh = Goshtalk
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Haldir = Holdit
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Háma = Hámmerhead, Hamstrung, Hámancheese
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Huorns = Thorns
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Ilúvatar = Ilovetar
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Ioreth = Eeyoreth
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Isildur = Kitzledoor
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Kelvar = Kevlar
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Laiquendi = Smartiquendi
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Legolas / Orlando Bloom = O Lando L’Oréal Bloom
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Lúthien Tinúviel = Lucy-Jane Thinguviel (also see Tinúviel)
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Maedhros = Muddlehead
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Maglor = Mugglin
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Mandos = Mantoes
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Manwë Sùlimo = Manuël Sántana
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Mearas - Morosa
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Melkor = Melvin Bluenote
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Morgoth Bauglir = Môgul Bildûr
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Morwen = Morwhine
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Nazgûl = Nazcool
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Neekerbreekers = Knickerbuckles
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Noldar = Noodlar
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Númenorean = Noodleorean
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Olwë = Paellaë
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Púkel-Men = Puking-Men (also see Woses)
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Radagast the Brown = Pettygast the Green
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Riddermark = Quexchinmike
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Ringwraiths = Thingwraiths
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Rohirrim = Sorethinghhim
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Rumil = Roomeal
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Saruman = SoAman, Sauerkraut
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Sauron = Soreone, Sourman, Soregum
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Shelob = Shishkebob
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Sindar = Sindiar
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Skinbark = Skinflint
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Southrons = Poltroons
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Spawns of Ungoliant = Pawns of Uncooliphaunt
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Teleri = Calamari
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Théoden King = Théboleggen King
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Tinúviel = Tinúlizzie (also see Lúthien)
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Thingol = Thingy (also see Elu Thingol)
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Tom Bombadil = Tom Bomba-bloom-o (a.k.a. Bombi)
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Turgon = Turgid
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Túrin Turambar = Tintin Rum-baba
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Uglûk = Oolalaluk
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Ungoliant = Uncooliphaunt
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Valar = Velour
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Vanyar = Vaniti
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Variags = Scallywags
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Voronwë = Vogonwë
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Wargs = Baskerwargs
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Woses = Woozies (also see Púkel-Men)
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Yavanna = The Fruit-Giver, Yawanna
---

Things and Events:

Anduril = Andëskil, Windósil (the Sword that Was On Sale)
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Gift of Men = Drift of Men
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Glamdring, the Beater = Bamding, the Toeslammer
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Gurthang = Gurl-thang
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Jewels of Fëanor = Stones of Feeblenor
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Kingsfoil = Kingsboil
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Kinslaying = Kinhoodwinking
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Lembas = Lembrownies
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Light of Valinor = Languid Lava of Valleyum
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The Mirror of Galadriel = The Salad Bowl of Saladriel
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Osanwë = O-mail
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Palantír = Cell-antír, Discotír, Satel-antír
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Quenya = Quixotic
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Silmarils = Similars, Silmaroils
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Sindarin = Simian
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Swan Ships = Squid Ships
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Throne of Gondor = Porcelain Throne
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War of Wrath = War of Mild Irritation
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Westron = Westosterone
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[ September 12, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]