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Old 08-21-2003, 03:38 PM   #47
Kuruharan
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Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
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Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
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Translator’s Note
The writings of Deeproot the Ent are interrupted at this point by a interesting treatise written by none other than Chrysophylax Dives. Thus far, this is the only known statement by a participant in these events written in response to this famous tome. Evidently, when Chrysophylax read this history he felt that in a matter or two his honor had been besmirched. Here in its (sort of) entirety is the statement of Chrysophylax Dives.

To Whom it May Concern:

Upon learning of the august efforts of the noble and scholarly Deeproot the Ent to record the magnificent deeds of the loose association of various hero-type persons, known in short as the Gallowship, I was delighted that my selfless acts of daring-do would be remembered throughout all time. However, it has come to my attention that the learned Deeproot (undoubtedly the result of deep-rooted prejudices against my fire-breathing and wood-burning nature) has cast a few aspersions in the general direction of my ancient and imperial person.

Quote:
whatever happened to all of the people at the Bacon-Binge? Chrys? Chrysophylax Dives, do you know anything about that?? Isn’t it enough that Orogarn lost his city without losing his people as well???
In this particular matter I believe that an unfair accusation has been made against me. There are a few points to be made that I believe will reveal matters in their true light.

1) I should like to point out that the reference in question occurred in the aftermath of a bloody riot where large numbers of unarmed Grundorians were massacred at the instigation of a half-halfling and her weedy boyfriend. This incident was hardly my fault. It also sufficiently explains the subsequent absence of onlookers, spectators, witnesses, bystanders, sightseers, rubber-neckers, and Peeping Toms. Everyone in the general area had been ruthlessly butchered by the gallant and intrepid Questers.

Translator’s Note
A long discourse on various courageous and underappreciated acts by Chrysophylax Dives is omitted in this manuscript. It contained many references that proved difficult to verify, and there are some authorities who feel that much of the information contained in the omitted section flirts with the nether-regions of dishonesty. The statement resumes with Chrysophylax’s second point.

2) With regards to the unfortunate destruction of Minus Teeth, I have stated in many different places that it was a most regrettable accident that was not entirely my responsibility. I more than made up for this particular mishap with my glorious Twenty-four Labors, which included financing the rebuilding of the Citibank.

Translator’s Note
The reference to Chrysophylax’s bankrolling the reconstruction of the Citibank is murky at best. Unfortunately, the records of the rebuilding of Minus Teeth are such a morass of red tape, committee reports, contractor’s excuses, demands for payment, death threats, various members of the Board of Directors loudly accusing each other of all sorts of depravity, hidden legislation to defraud the merchants of the New Great Mall of Missing Dentures, litigation from the merchants of the New Great Mall of Missing Dentures when they found out about the Government’s little scheme, the gleeful gloating of the honorable Judge who heard the case because it gave him an opportunity to stick it to some of the politicians who had given him a great deal of trouble back in the days of his confirmation hearings, the obituary for the unfortunate Judge whose body was found the next day in a sack in the river, the desperate fumblings of the Proctor in an attempt to appear to be "doing something" about the woeful lack of progress being made in the construction, tabloid articles regarding the embarrassing incident when the Proctor was caught in flagrante delicto with his secretary, the impeachment proceedings of the Proctor by the Board of Directors, the hilarious accounts of the disgrace of the Board of Directors when a late-night panty raid went horribly awry (which generally proved the earlier accusations that the members of the Board of Directors had made against each other), the documented evidence of an understanding reached between the contractors and the merchants of the New Great Mall of Missing Dentures to make the government pay through the nose for the rebuilding, *deep gasp for air*, the execution notices for the contractors and the merchants after the Proctor found out about it, strikes by the workers because they were not getting paid, strikes by the military because they were not getting paid for suppressing the workers, bills at posh restaurants to the account of the Proctor for $15,000 martini lunches, numerous secret payments to a mysterious "Madame X" (the significance of which is still debated in most circles), reports by the police of sightings of a winged lizard-like monster raiding the bank vaults in the middle of the night, and complaints by the city manager that while the new Palace of the Proctor was finished the rest of the city languished in a general state of dilapidation, that it is really impossible to discern what happened, or indeed, how the city was rebuilt at all.

The remainder of Chrysophylax’s statement is an elegy on his own heroics during his dubious Labors, which has little to do with the story at hand. Said story will now be resumed forthwith.

[ August 22, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]
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