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Phact: the phandom of the phantom is mainly populated by insane phangirls writing the phantom/The Phantom phanphics, genderbended Phantom and Alien comics, and phar, phar too much rule 34. It's disgusting, but the phantom loves it.
Phact: "Chuck Norris? Isn't he dead? Yeah, the phantom killed him." ~Oliphaunts_Rule
Phact: Chuck Norris's real name is Carlos. the phantom's garbage disposal is also named Carlos. Coincidence?
Phact: When the phantom plays chess, all of his pieces are queens.
Phact: When the phantom plays checkers, all of his pieces are queens.
Phact: the phantom will refill the cup of Galadriel when she finishes her drink. Everyone else has to fill their own.
Phact: Galadriel has only asked for the phantom to refill her glass once. She ended up giving the result to Frodo Baggins of the Shire.
Phact: the phantom owns a little boat that can bear someone ever back across so wide a sea. I hear he's willing to sell it for a song.
Phact: the phantom is the true Lord of the Ring. He's also Lord of everything else, so he doesn't mind if Sauron borrows the title for a little while.
Phact: Every time the phantom walks into a building, the sprinklers go off.
Phact: The Hobbit's love for mushrooms is in honor of the phantom. Because he's known everywhere as being a fungi.
Phact: The Entwives have long since fled Middle-earth. Why? Because the phantom ran through their crops screaming "Run, forest, run!!"
Phact: Dwarves are constantly working hard to try to please the phantom, but they always come up short.
Phact: Due to genetics, the phantom is at a high risk for spontaneous combustion. He does not fear, nor should you, that this will elven happen.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door
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